


love words

by xSilver



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Bottom Son Hyunwoo | Shownu, Explicit Sexual Content, Hurt, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, READ TAGS!!!, Strong Language, Top Lee Hoseok | Wonho, it gets a lot worse before it gets better
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:14:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 37,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24698167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xSilver/pseuds/xSilver
Summary: Weak. That’s what he was.What did he need all this muscle for if he couldn’t even defend himself?Weak.That’s what he said. That’s what he is.Until someone else told him he wasn’t.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Yoo Kihyun, Lee Hoseok | Wonho/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu, Son Hyunwoo | Shownu/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 51
Kudos: 94





	1. cinnamon cake

**Author's Note:**

> Please be aware that abuse can happen to anyone regardless of their physical built. Everyone please be careful out there.
> 
> Disclaimer: I am in no way, shape or form, claiming that these are their actual personalities or values. This is made for entertainment purposes out of my own boredom and imagination. I do not own any of the celebrities mentioned.
> 
> Also, this is not beta read by anyone other than me, so I apologise for any mistakes.
> 
> Inspired by the amazing BTS fanfiction called "Before I cave in"

Hyunwoo’s head was pounding while he lied on the floor, right by the king-sized bed. He could taste the subtle flavour of blood on his tongue, but he couldn’t get himself to care. Trying his very best to figure out how things had gotten to this point. Park Changho used to be so gentle and kind to him.

Changho used to be such a charmer, making Hyunwoo blush embarrassingly as his co-workers noticed. The five-year older man had walked into the pastry shop he works at with confidence radiating of off him. His shoulder’s width rivalling Hyunwoo’s even when Hyunwoo himself was only 18 at the time. A black hat sitting nicely on the newcomer’s perfectly styled hair. Hyunwoo gulped when he saw the police officer’s logo. The dark blue button up shirt fitting nicely against his muscular built. “Hey, could I get a black coffee and a maccha bagel?” His voice smooth and authoritative. It almost felt like a calming hand had been placed on his high shoulders. But nonetheless Hyunwoo couldn’t stop the shaking breath from escaping his lips where he stood behind the till. His body frozen to his spot, getting mesmerised by the beautiful mole under the inside of the customer’s right eye.

His eyes were soft and round, only getting sharper at the end of his eyes to give him a strong look despite the softness. A blinding smile along with a chuckle met Hyunwoo next when he failed to reply him. His upper lip thicker than the bottom, and his teeth aligning perfectly with each other. His focus only coming back when his co-worker and pink haired friend Kihyun hits his shoulder not so subtly. Hyunwoo shakes himself back to life as he smiles his thin eyed smile that’s always reserved for his customers. “I’m sorry what?”

Another chuckle leaves the customer’s lips. “A black coffee, a maccha bagel and perhaps your number?” he uttered cheekily. “I’m Park Changho” and Hyunwoo was at a loss of words again.

“He’s Son Hyunwoo, he’s not usually like this. I’ll get you your order” If it weren’t for Kihyun’s reply Hyunwoo would’ve kept the line waiting the whole day. “Oh, and I’ll make sure he gives you his number so please take a seat” Kihyun got out as he eyed the other officers at their usual table. Not having to take their order as they always got the same thing.

Hyunwoo didn’t show too much interest in the beginning. Except for the blatant shock of seeing the handsome man. He’d never really been a good flirter, but with Changho he didn’t have to be. The older had continued to come into his work during his lunch breaks for the whole week.

“You’re making me wish I started joining the other’s for lunch a lot earlier.” Comes out of the elder’s lips when he sees the shaky handwritten number on his receipt. The flirtatious comments kept making their way out of his mouth as he kept visiting. Refusing to join his own colleagues at their usual table, right in the corner by the big glass windows, until he had made the younger blush. Hyunwoo was more used to pursuing others, but for the first time he had been pursued, so he agreed to go out with the other the coming week. Throwing yesterday’s red velvet cupcakes at his teasing co-workers as soon as Changho left. Their newly added recruit Hyungwon quickly finding it funny to laugh at the awkward older.

Tonight, had been especially rough on Hyunwoo’s body. He could still feel the stinging from where his hands had smacked and hit him around. Knowing fully well that those prickling sensations would soon turn to bruises. If Hyunwoo remembers right, Changho’s roughness started around three years ago. Since then the officer has always been angry. Day in and day out he always had something to yell at the younger for. No matter how good Hyunwoo was being.

Hyunwoo was a handsome guy. His early passion for swimming and dancing had done wonders for his body, and he was lucky to have grown to his height at an early age. Quickly growing past the height of his peers. He had always had girls lining up to get to know him, so when he came out as gay, needless to say, he broke a couple of hearts that day. Regardless of his muscled body, Park Changho had found him beautiful. Something that came as a shock to Hyunwoo who often thought he was too much, or too little. His golden skin, plump lips and kind eyes looking soft against his strong body. Changho wanted to wreck the strong looking youth, and Hyunwoo curses at himself for not having listened to his co-workers worries months into his new-found relationship. Because at that time, he didn’t have any reasons to question the older.

He was a gentleman at their first date. Having taken Hyunwoo to the restaurant called Bao, which simply served an array of different bao’s. Changho looked incredibly handsome in his dark blue double-breasted suit. An emblem from his work unit sitting proudly above his heart. Hyunwoo had felt incredibly well taken care of that night. He had been blushing left and right and it does take a lot for Hyunwoo to blush, even though it might be hard to believe with the way he’s been since he met Changho. The way the older looked at him with a glint in his eyes was enough to get the ball rolling. Hyunwoo’s emotion’s growing every day from then on.

Changho joined him for his last couple of swimming competitions before he was completely done with high school. Clapping and cheering the younger on as he pulled his arms forwards in the water. Hitting the bell for second place, but the ever gentle Hyunwoo was the first to congratulate the winner. Changho even kept his promise of attending Hyunwoo’s dance practices when he could. The way Hyunwoo moved his hips to the beat had Changho smirking for himself. Being well aware of where those hips would be later that night. But as the older saw him hugging and dancing with his friends he couldn’t help the tiny lump of jealousy forming in his stomach.

Hyunwoo can’t pinpoint when it all went wrong, but the older started with random jabs and stabs at his hobbies. Confusing Hyunwoo, because he would go from loving them to hating them. One day he’d litter his body with gentle kisses, saying how beautiful he looked during practice. The other day he would yell at him for showing off his body to anyone else. Changho had also commented on how he made himself look on social media, and how he acted around his friends. Hyunwoo is a quiet guy before he opens up, but when he does, he loves to joke around and show affection. Something Changho isn’t too fond of. He’s a popular guy regardless of his quiet nature so after his high school graduation he was invited to quite a few parties, and maybe Hyunwoo can pinpoint when it all went wrong after all…

He had invited Changho to the party to celebrate after his last swimming practice. He was so energetic and happy, feeling buzzed on both alcohol and the thought of being done with high school. Hyunwoo had dragged the older into the house to meet all his friends, and Changho could tell right away that Hyunwoo was loved by everyone. Whether they were friends or not. He kept leaving Changho’s side that night in favour of hugging and socialising with his high school friends. All of them being sadly aware that it might be a long time coming until they all see each other again. They were all getting ready for their universities to start or their jobs to begin. Ready for adult life.

That night was the first time the older laid his hands on Hyunwoo.

They had arrived at their apartment, Hyunwoo having moved in with the older after the good impression Changho had made on his parents. Hyunwoo was pushed up against the hallway wall, a harsh kiss plastered on his lips. “So, who was that guy with dark blue hair you kept talking to?” Changho said. He started to accuse the other of flirting earlier that night, even going as far as flirting while Changho was standing right there. But Hyunwoo didn’t have any of it. Arguing against him that he would never do something like that, and that the older should trust that he didn’t do it before he pushed the elder of him. Walking towards the stairs that led up to their bedroom and en suite bathroom to get cleaned up. The older yelling after him to take him seriously, to stop going to _these ridiculous parties_. But Hyunwoo had laughed and continued on his way to the bathroom, calling the older over sensitive and dramatic.

Something must’ve clicked in Changho’s head. The alcohol he’d consumed and the way Hyunwoo didn’t seem to take his accusations seriously frustrated him. No, it pissed him off. Stomping angrily after the younger, but equally tall one, into the bathroom. He had pushed him against yet another wall. And the sound of a smack could be heard echoing in the room.

His hand had smacked Hyunwoo’s right cheek. It went quiet for a while. The only sound being Changho’s heavy breathing. Hyunwoo’s head having moved to the left with the force of the slap, his eyes open wide, and he was definitely not buzzed anymore. His hand lifted up to hold against his right cheek, slowly moving his head towards Changho again. That’s when Changho realised something. The way his almost bigger lover was shaking ever so slightly, his eyes open in fear and confusion, made a little something spark in his stomach. The way strong and brave Hyunwoo cowered away from him? _Fuck it was hot_.

Naturally, the older ignored those feelings as he grabbed Hyunwoo against his chest. He held the younger’s head in his hand, his other hand stroking Hyunwoo’s back as he apologised. Words of _I’m so so sorry baby_ and _I promise I’ll never do that again_ leaving his lips. Sentences that would be said to Hyunwoo for months going onwards. But every time they would lose some of their meaning. 

And now, here he was, lying on their bedroom floor, three years after the first hit. His head kept pounding at him, but it still wasn’t loud enough for him to ignore the shouts from the older. He tried to curl in on himself to hide his naked body from the other, but he was hurt and scared. Jolting his whole body from feeling a drop of spit hitting his skin. _Weak._

“You’re so fucking weak Hyunwoo!”

“Every day I go to work and earn money to spend on you, you ungrateful brat!”

“Don’t you dare lie to me baby. I know you’re fucking the guy from your work. I know what kind of a slut you are you fuck!”

A wince leaves his lips from the harsh grip in his hair. Changho lifting his head up from the ground. Hyunwoo going as quickly as he can onto his hands and knees before he’s pushing himself up on his knees, trying to soften the grip on his hair. A low whimper leaves his lips when Changho grabs his chin. Wet from the tears streaming down his face. Another slap comes down hard on his right cheek.

“Yeah you like that don’t you?” he spits out. A sickening grin on his lips as he looks at the struggling boy in his hands. The way Hyunwoo tries to shake his head no, trying to keep himself quiet makes Changho’s cock tingle. He fucking loves it when he looks like this. Such a strong body, but actually so fucking weak. He pats the other’s chin weakly before he lets go of his hair.

“Get on the fucking bed.”

Hyunwoo quickly scrambles onto the bed. Shaking as he does so. His legs are folded under him with his hands lying in his lap. Trying his very best to cover himself without looking like he was. His head bowed down in submission. Not daring to look up at the older.

“Put your hands away”

“Changie…” he tries, quietly, but sincerely. He always knew what it meant when the older asked to completely see him. Changho used to be content with his punches and yells. Seeing Hyunwoo bleeding and covering his ears used to be enough for him, but Hyunwoo has seen the shift in him. It started almost a year ago. Changho started to get off on Hyunwoo’s tears. The way he would yelp and plead for help. The way his tears would fall down his cheeks and onto his torso. Making his chest glisten from the lights hanging on the walls.

“Now Hyunwoo.” Changho tried to hide his smirk. He knew exactly what was coming next. He took a deep breath as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. Closing his eyes as he felt his crotch tingle at every syllable leaving his lover’s lips. Enjoying the way Hyunwoo was pleading, begging him not to do anything.

“Hyung please, I… I’m so so sorry. Just, I-“ Hyunwoo stops in his tracks when he sees Changho move towards the bed regardless of his pleas. Changho was smirking, not being able to hide it anymore when he looked at the new set of fresh tears escaping the younger’s eyes. The hiccups leaving his lips stirring him on even more. _Fuck_. He loved this. Seeing him so utterly wrecked and broken. And he hadn’t even started yet.

He made himself comfortable between Hyunwoo’s beautifully toned thighs. The legs shaking oh so subtly while the other used all his strength to try and stay strong. “Will you finally listen?” Changho said in mock kindness while he pushed at Hyunwoo’s chest to get him to lie down on his back. Following him down with his whole body.

“Yes! Yes, I promise! Hyung just please…”

“Do you feel this baby?” Changho says after bringing Hyunwoo’s hand to the front of his sweatpants. Feeling the way that the elder’s cock is pulsing under his hand. “See how much I love you?” A nod. “And then you have to go and break my heart by flirting with every guy out there?” he continues on. Sternly.

“I didn-“

“Shut up!”

Another whimper leaves Hyunwoo’s lips at the smack against his cheek. Feeling the pounding in his head getting louder. He tries his best to shake the older off him, earning him another smack to his cheek before he’s rolled over onto his stomach instead. Hyunwoo lifts his arms in a weak attempt at getting himself of the bed, but he’s quickly pushed down again by a hand at the back of his neck. Changho’s other hand rubbing the cleft between his ass cheeks.

“Don’t you fucking try me Hyunwoo”

“Please Changho… I-I-I don’t want this…” the arousal in Changho only increasing by Hyunwoo’s begging. Fuck he just wanted to ruin him over and over again. Keep the younger in this state forever.

“Keep quiet. And keep your weak legs spread.”

_Weak._

One last attempt at getting loose, Hyunwoo bends his legs at the knees as much as he can with the other right behind him. He lets out a broken shout when he feels a harsh smack on his ass, making him fall flat against the bed again. Another sob leaving his lips before he gives up.

“You fucking belong to me Hyunwoo. Stop fighting it, you know you love it.”

Hyunwoo closes his eyes and braces himself for what’s to come. He tries to think of the gentle touches from their first year together. How Changho would never try to push himself inside without thoroughly preparing him first. He would use his fingers, one at first and slowly moving towards three before he dared to try himself. He would whisper sweet nothings into his ears. Whispers of how beautiful he was, and how lucky he felt for having Hyunwoo for himself. His hands would trace the lines of his body, smiling lovingly at him when Hyunwoo shivered. The light touches tickling his skin. They would both laugh at it, exchanging sweet kisses before they’d both get their release.

The muffled scream that wrenches from deep in his throat takes him by surprise when he feels Changho push himself into him with no preparations. The only lubrication being the little dollop of spit in between his clefts, barely even reaching his hole. Hyunwoo keeps screaming into the pillow. His hands grabbing into the sheets in tight grips. Almost ripping them apart.

Changho kept going with his aggressive thrusts, ignoring the heart-breaking sounds coming from the boy underneath him. His little boy. “Not so strong after all huh?” He whispers into Hyunwoo’s ears while he leans over his body. Changho keeps breathing into his left ear and it makes Hyunwoo shudder. Feeling disgusted by the man he used to love. His fright quickening when he feels Changho’s hand pushing their way between his body and the mattress. His right hand finding its way towards the younger's neglected cock.

A new set of pleas leaves Hyunwoo’s lips before he goes absolutely quiet at the touches. Cursing at himself for letting the other manipulate him to hardness. Feeling utterly embarrassed at the words leaving the elder’s lips. _See, you’re quite enjoying yourself, aren’t you? I told you you’d love it._ Hyunwoo doesn’t even have to turn around to see the smirk on the other’s lips. Whimpering yet again as he feels Changho empty himself inside of him.

Hyunwoo lied still. The only sound in the room being Changho’s panting as he got himself back together. Hyunwoo never really knew what would happen afterwards. Sometimes he wanted to cuddle, sometimes he wanted to fuck him through the whole night, and sometimes he liked to hit him again.

“Go clean yourself up. You’re disgusting. Sleep on the couch tonight.” Leaves Changho’s lips before he starts snoring. _Fucker_ is all Hyunwoo can think as he tries his best to leave the bedroom. Every step hurt, but he cleans himself up quickly in the bathroom. Trying his hardest to keep the wrenching sobs that wants to leave his mouth at bay. Not daring to until he’s out of the other’s ear sight in the living room downstairs. A pillow under his head and one between his arms. Tucked up against his lips as he tried to stay quiet through the pain. His legs curling in before he falls asleep to his own cries.

Too deep in his sleep to feel the soft blanket being thrown over his body, and the way his hair is pushed out of his face.

“One day you’ll realise how much I love you.”

~

Hyunwoo walked lightly out of the apartment, being careful not to put too much pressure on himself. He bit his teeth together while he hid himself with a face mask, covering up what he could of the red and blue marks on his cheeks. Instead of wearing a scarf or turtleneck, Hyunwoo had opted for makeup today. Using as much setting powder and spray as he could to be on the safer side. He tried to wear a turtleneck to his weekly dance classes before, but he felt like an oven. Sweating profoundly and looking stupid while doing so.

Hyunwoo always woke up alone on Thursday mornings. Changho was usually on patrol duty from Thursday to Saturdays in Itaewon. The international area of Seoul being full of nightlife and partygoers from around the world, and Changho’s ability to speak several languages made him a favourite to be patrolling the areas during the weekends. It’s not even too far from Gangnam, but Changho couldn’t be bothered with driving home just to drive back the next day. Choosing an hour of extra sleep over Hyunwoo. He would never complain though. The early weekend was his favourite time of the week for a reason. The empty house being one of them. Making the weekend his free time, his time to relax and just breathe.

He used to be busier with the pastry shop, but he had to cut down on his shifts after Changho complained about him being out too much. Changho was a smart man though. He would never want him to completely quit his job. He wanted him to still see his friends and earn some form of money. Not wanting his friends to get suspicious about their home situation. Hyunwoo had tried his best to keep his job full time. Arguing that Changho was gone most of the time either way, but he learned his lesson. He’s not going to complain about it again. At least it still gave him a little bit of a breather during the week.

The pastry shop was warm and small. Placed perfectly in northwest Gangnam, almost right by the Han river. The breeze view of the ocean making their outside seating popular during the warmer months, and their firepit a huge favourite during the colder ones. Although Kihyun was around his own age, he was still the assistant manager of the place. Always being understandable towards Hyunwoo, and especially when he said he couldn’t do full time anymore. The actual owner of the pastry shop, Hyunwoo had only seen a handful of times.

His biggest luck lies in the fact that the shop is close to the dance studio he dances at. Loving the closeness of his currently two favourite places. As he continued walking towards the studio, he felt a continuous buzzing in his pocket. Quickly pulling out his phone, smiling at the message.

**From: Vitamin Min**

_Hey! Where the heck are you?? We start in like… 15 minutes ago?_

_Oh if you’re gonna be late anyways bring me a caffe latte!_

_Thank you hyung!_

Minhyuk, also known as a vitamin by their friends is Hyunwoo’s best friend. They have been friends since their high school days and kept on meeting regularly when he went off to study. Now they kept in touch by going to the same dance studio, the both of them always having enjoyed dancing. And Hyunwoo can’t think of any better times for him to need a fresh dose of his vitamin then after a week with Changho. Being eternally grateful for Minhyuk sticking with him.

**To: Vitamin Min**

_I didn’t even say yes… but okay!_

_Thanks for making me even more late_

**From: Vitamin Min**

_Thank youuu! You can always count on me ;)_

Hyunwoo didn’t even notice that he was late until Minhyuk pointed it out, and although he’d end up being later than he had to. He made a quick beeline for the pastry shop to pick up a coffee for his friend. When he got closer to the shop, he could see Hyungwon and Kihyun inside. He opened the door, a little jiggle from the bell above the door making his co-workers head pop up towards him. The both of them greeting him with smiles on their faces.

“Hey Hyunwoo!” Kihyun waved him over to the counter. Hyungwon giving him a wave from where he was cleaning the floor. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be rolling in sweat right about now?”

“Yeah but you know Minhyuk. Ever so demanding” Hyunwoo laughed.

“A latte I’m guessing?”

“How did you know?” Hyunwoo said sarcastically as he patted down his coat for his wallet. Kihyun was the one who trained him for the job, and for some reason they had just clicked. The kind smile of the other relaxing Hyunwoo’s nerves. It did take them almost half a year to hang out outside of work, but the wait was definitely worth it. The two of them having grown immensely close afterwards.

“It’s coming right up” Kihyun laughed when he started to make the drink.

Hyunwoo turned around and sat down at one of the highchairs by the side of the counter. Giving another wave to Hyungwon before he laughed at how miserable he looked. His hair falling into his face as he grumbled at the elder’s laugh. Continuing to mop the floor. The bell above their entrance door rang again. Hyunwoo’s head automatically going towards the sound.

He might not be the biggest fan of reading, but trust Hyunwoo when he says he’s watched most romance movies out there. He knew how unrealistic they could be. How falling in love at first sight was bullshit, because how could you fall for someone you didn’t even know? The only thing you know is that you find them hot. And Hyunwoo’s the perfect example of how much love at first sight sucks. But wow, for some reason he throws all of those thoughts away at seeing the unknown guy walking into the shop.

The stranger walks into the pastry shop with his pitch-black hair, a stark contrast to his porcelain white skin. He stands a little shorter than Hyunwoo himself, but wow does that white t-shirt show off his muscles well. His built coming from hours at the gym rather than the pool. In his arms hangs a dark blue coat, and behind it Hyunwoo spots his black skinny jeans. His feet covered by shiny black boots. The short second their eyes meet, while the customer takes a look around the shop, Hyunwoo’s breath hitches. His eyes are oh so soft, kind even.

Hyunwoo’s breath hitches once again as the man walks to the till, the very same till that’s right by his seat. His heartbeat picks up its pace and what the fuck is he feeling?? He quickly turns back around in his chair to look at Kihyun behind the till. His hands having found the bottom of his shirt immensely interesting.

“Hi, one normal coffee and one of those cinnamon cakes to go please”

Hyunwoo freezes. And blinks. The handsome stranger is going to eat from the cinnamon cake he baked yesterday. The man with the beautiful smooth voice will be eating his cake. Did he add enough sugar? Did he add too much sugar? Does he even like sugar?? His eyes go from the stranger’s face and down to his feet again. _Wait, Hyunwoo, get yourself together what the hell are you stressing over?_

He’s never looked at another man since he got with Changho, and dare he say he’s never checked out a guy so obviously before. Shit, if Changho saw what he was doing right now he- fuck. Hyunwoo quickly brings his gaze away from the stranger. Turning completely around in his seat to scout out of the window instead. His eyes going frantically from one side of the street to the other. His searching eyes wide with panic and fear.

Before he can spiral any further down his own hole, Kihyun’s voice prods at him and he turns his head towards his friend after scolding his face back to normal. “Your drink hyung” he said before Hyunwoo quickly grabbed the paper cup and hurried out. Almost stumbling over his own feet on his way out of the door. Oblivious to the wondering eyes looking after him.

He didn’t stop rushing until he could see the studio. Arriving quicker than he normally would when walking from the shop. His breath heavy as he walked up the stairs to their room. He peeked inside of the room as to not burst through the door in the middle of a song. Slowly opening the door when he sees everyone talking and relaxing for a bit. He gives a small apologising bow to their teacher before he smiles friendly at his fellow dancers. Making his way towards Minhyuk, handing over the cup of coffee.

“Hyunwoo! You life savour!” was all the warning he got before he had one piece of Lee Minhyuk in his arms.

“Don’t spill it Min!”

And his best friend released his hold on him “Shit yeah, sorry” but his smile was still so present. There is definitely a reason why Minhyuk is their vitamin. Some would even argue that he holds a bit of sunshine in his smile, but his smile disappears quickly as he sees the top of Hyunwoo’s left cheek. “Wait what happened to your cheek??”

It felt like a bucket of ice-cold water was spilled above his head as he internally froze up. Putting his hand up to his cheek to realise his face mask had slipped down a little from his earlier running. He quickly collected himself though, having learned a long time ago how to duck away from these questions.

“Oh, you know me… I wasn’t focusing and before I know it, I fell down the stairs.” His right arm waving in front of him as if to wave away the question. Hyunwoo could see the sceptic look the younger gave him, but he quickly got his blinding smile back on his lips.

“Hyung you’re too stupid sometimes. Please be more careful in the future.” Hyunwoo rolled his eyes but exhaled. His hand patting his shorter friend on the shoulder, glad that he believed his tiny little lie.

They sat down as Minhyuk enjoyed his drink. The younger thanking the little break they always have in the middle of the class. Quickly taking over the conversation as the naturally talkative person he is. Hyunwoo didn’t speak much when the younger got like this. Excited and passionate. Hyunwoo only nods and hums in agreement as Minhyuk talks about the new fashion line his favourite artist is coming out with. _Not that I can afford it, but it’s exciting nonetheless,_ he says with a shrug of his shoulders. Eyeing his hyung’s choice of attire for the dance practice. A long-sleeved sweatshirt not really helping the warm and sweaty air of the room, but he knows not to prod until the older naturally opens up to him.

Hyunwoo sees the questionable look in Minhyuk’s eyes when he takes of his sweatpants for his shorts. Revealing some bruising around his thighs. Barely covered by the length of the shorts. The colder weather forcing him to cover up a little outside, but Hyunwoo isn’t dumb enough to dress in too much while practicing. The least thing he wants is to pass out from overheating.

After Minhyuk and his fellow dancer’s little break, the dance class is back in session. The studio was run by an organisation called exo. The only reason Hyunwoo could dance here was because the organisation always focused on cheap, but quality driven classes. Their main teachers Jongin and Yixing always amazing them with new choreography. It also helped a tremendous lot what the organisation stood for in terms of their volunteer work for both humans and animals.

This time they were all preparing for a showcase they would be putting up next spring. The tickets would be free so all of the income would come through sponsors and others who were interested. Hyunwoo hadn’t always loved to dance. His main focus used to be his swimming. Feeling the water soar through him as he soared through it himself. Feeling the powerful strokes that he would have to make to get to the goal always exhilarated him. But during High School he had also picked up dancing alongside Minhyuk and he quickly came to love it. It might’ve helped that he was told he did well right away. The praise resulting in him wanting to do better and keep impressing. He had always wanted, needed, to be liked and approved by others and dancing had been a way for him to get it by doing something he genuinely enjoyed.

Half an hour later they were excused to another short break as they all gulped down their bottles of water. Hyunwoo sat on the floor with his legs bent at the knees. His elbows resting on top of them while he heaved after his breath. Minhyuk was unsurprisingly talking again about everything in between, always amazing Hyunwoo with the way he could talk regardless of how tired he was.

A knock could be heard by the door and it seemed like Minhyuk was expecting it due to the way he quickly bounced up on his feet. Jogging towards the door, giving the newcomer one of his signature hugs. Hyunwoo was looking at himself in the mirror, registering the bruises around his thighs when he was disturbed by Minhyuk’s blooming laugh. Quickly whipping his head around with a smile at the younger, only for the smile to be dropped as he could feel himself start to sweat. And it was definitively not because of the dancing.

“Yah, Hyunwoo!” Minhyuk started while he dragged the other behind him towards Hyunwoo. “This is my friend Shin Hoseok!”

_Hoseok? What._

“Hoseok this right here is my best friend, Son Hyunwoo” A big smile could be seen on Minhyuk’s lips as he introduced the two, unbeknownst to Hyunwoo’s turmoil of thoughts. Hyunwoo can’t even remember the moment the muscular guy looked at him, because it all went blank inside of his mind. Was it too cliché for his love at first sight hatred to say he could only see Hoseok at that moment? Everything else went black as if the two of them were the only ones that mattered. Was love at first sight really that impossible?

“So you’re the dancer Minhyukie can’t shut up about?” the stranger- no Hoseok, said with a gentle smile. Quickly followed by a _shut up_ from Minhyuk himself. Hyunwoo’s body still frozen until he realised exactly where he was. His eyes moving to Minhyuk before they moved back to Hoseok. A nudge from Minhyuk could be felt from his right side before he managed to get any words out.

“Hi, I guess. I’m Hyunwoo, nice to meet you Hoseok-ssi.”

“Nice to meet you too, and Hoseok is fine. No formalities needed.” And Hyunwoo couldn’t stop blinking at the elder’s? younger’s? gentle smile.

“Hoseok here is honestly a great music producer! He’s gonna make the music for our spring showcase! You should definitely check him out, you might even have seen some of his YouTube videos!” Minhyuk rushed out. The embarrassment on Hoseok’s face could clearly be seen by the way his cheeks tinted a little pink. His hand shyly rubbing at his neck as his younger friend complimented his passion. “He’s actually not from Seoul, but he’s about to move here for real after the showcase so he’ll stay at my place until he finds his own place, and…” That’s when Hyunwoo lost his focus. Finally looking at Hoseok, like really _look_ at him.

Shin Hoseok was absolutely beautiful.

He was harsh yet soft. His tough and well-built muscles demanding people to notice his presence. He might not have realised it himself, but Hyunwoo certainly noticed how he isn’t the only one mesmerised by him. His pitch-black hair contrasting his own chestnut brown hair, the other’s pale skin the opposite of his golden one. His kind features are what stood out to Hyunwoo the most. Feeling an instant comfort and calmness around the shorter. The way his lips moved when he spoke, an almost invisible layer of light pink colouring them. So soft to look at, maybe even to touch?

“Hyunwoo?”

“Huh?” comes out of Hyunwoo’s lips before he can stop himself from embarrassing himself even more. He can feel his ears turning hot as he tries his best to listen intently to Minhyuk’s voice.

“I just told Hoseok that you’d be willing to help out with the vocals on some of the tracks he’ll create, right?”

“I uhm..”

“Come on hyung! You have an amazing voice! Not fair if you ask me with all the talent you already have in that body of yours” Minhyuk almost whines the end of his sentence.

“I’d love to hear you sing sometime.” Hoseok says, again with his kind eyes looking at Hyunwoo.

Before Hyunwoo managed to get his vocal cords under control, Jongin was back to continue the last part of their dance class. Disturbing their conversation, but to Hyunwoo’s horror, Hoseok asked if he could stick around until the class finished. Setting himself down on the ground as Jongin told everyone to get back to their respective spots.

Hyunwoo wasn’t confident about a lot of things, but dancing is something he had always been confident about. He knew he was good, and he prided himself in the way he could move his body. At first people were sceptic about him since bigger guys usually had a harder time than the smaller ones. Especially with Hyunwoo’s added muscle mass, people expected him to be stiff as a pole, but he managed to surprise them all. But the way he knew Hoseok was watching his every move made him question his own ability. Their little second of eye contact proving Hyunwoo right, earning himself a friendly eye smile before he whipped his head back to focus on Jongin.

That’s when Hyunwoo knew that things wouldn’t be the same. It absolutely terrified him that a stranger, Shin Hoseok, could make him feel things he never thought he would feel again. And was he wrong to anticipate it?


	2. curiosity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay safe and listen to your friends. Be there for them when they need you too. You never know how much of an impact it can have.
> 
> (also not beta read)

Shin Hoseok had been staying at Minhyuk’s place for a week now. Trying to get himself used to the busy life of Seoul compared to his calm town life. It was a good change though. He had always wanted great things for himself and had always felt like his town had held him back. Minhyuk had been so kind to show some of his tracks to the company he dances with, and he was lucky enough for them to like what he’d produced. Their leader, Junmyeon contacted him shortly after with a proposal of helping them out with the music for their spring showcase. Unfortunately, they wouldn’t be able to pay him big money as this was a free show, where all the donations would go to the local pet shelter. It didn’t bug Hoseok too much though. They still managed to pay him a part time salary, and who was he kidding? Hoseok was sold as soon as he heard about the pets.

“Why don’t you get your ass to my dance class right now?” His raised brow being hidden by the phone call.

“And why would I do that?”

“Well, I basically think I know the perfect guy to sing on your next project.” Hoseok’s ears perked up when he heard his good friend Minhyuk speak. Already putting the coat on his shoulders from his own curiosity.

He loved everything related to music. Listening to it, feeling it and creating it. He was stoked when he got the proposal from Junmyeon a couple of months ago, but that’s the thing. That was months ago, and Hoseok was struggling with gaining inspiration for the tracks. Junmyeon had already pitched him the demands regarding the beat, mood and emotion of a couple of tracks. Not stressing it enough to Hoseok that the music had to fit the choreography that they were already in the process of making. Due to the tracks being made parallel with the choreography.

“So, he’s one of my best friends!” Minhyuk continued as Hoseok put on his shoes. “We’ve been dancing together since high school, and you know, I’ve told you about him before. Hyunwoo hyung! His voice is so so smooth it’ll definitely fit your style.”

Hoseok kept humming while locking the door behind him. He obviously knew where the younger was dancing, so he didn’t hesitate with strolling down the street in the right direction. Not passing up an opportunity to get help on this project, but he still couldn’t let Minhyuk know his excitement. “yeah yeah okay, I’ll come down for a little bit. But I swear if you’re wasting my time again, I won’t be shy to kick you right then and there”

Minhyuk’s laugh could be heard on the other side of the line. “Whatever. He’s handsome and cute at the same time and I know you’re into that. I won’t be wasting any of your time.” His voice laced with mischief. Quickly hanging up before Hoseok could come back at him.

His love for music isn’t recent either. It had always been a part of him. During his ups and downs. From how he’d disappoint his parents for not getting the grades he should’ve gotten, resulting in him not being able to go to university to study. Something that also explains why he was stuck in his childhood home until Minhyuk brought him this opportunity. Starting from zero is definitely possible, but not an easy feat. But music had also given him great ups. To the point where he finally got recognition from one of his favourite producers on his YouTube channel. Finally gaining a little more recognition and approval from his family warmed his heart and made him all so more motivated.

Hoseok pulled down his bright red headphones down to hang around his neck when he stepped into the little pastry shop. It was a cute little building. It had been painted a light turquoise on the outside with brown wooden colours to soften the brightness. Hoseok could imagine one of those old vespa scooter standing outside, fitting right in with the vintage colour. The shop was quiet with one worker behind the till and one out on the floor mopping up the mess from previous costumers. There were only three other customers besides him; a lovely looking older couple all the way at the back of the shop, and a guy with bright brown hair near the till. He didn’t manage to properly see him as the other quickly turned away.

“Hi, what can I get you?” the pink haired man at the till asked. His smile so bright it could blind someone, he’s sure of it.

He moved a step away from the till after placing his order. Waiting patiently for his drink and piece of cake. His eyes moving towards the man on the highchair. Hoseok furrowed his brows for a second when the calmness on the stranger’s face was exchanged for stress? Anxiousness? Fear? No matter what it was, Hoseok didn’t enjoy the way his face contoured to anxiety. The guy was gorgeous. His eyes were round and sweet, but before he could take a better look, he was running out of the door. Stumbling lightly by the entrance.

“Here you go” the pink haired man, Kihyun as his nametag stated, said while he placed the coffee and warmed up cake on the counter in a neat box. The box sporting the same blue colour as the outside of the house. He thanked him for his work before he headed out towards the Exo building.

When he arrived, he took a moment to enjoy being there. The company had given him the chance of a lifetime after all. It looked just like the pictures online. It wasn’t the most famous company, but they were well enough established to have gotten the bottom two floors of a more famous entertainment company.

Stepping into the building was a bigger surprise. The white monochrome outside did nothing for it’s beautiful burgundy coloured walls on the inside. It was definitely a bold statement, but he found he quite enjoyed it. He made his way further into the building towards the reception, asking where he could find the room holding a dance class at the moment. There was no music playing when he arrived at the door. Spotting his friend talking to someone else who had their back towards the door. He gave the door a knock and smiled when his friend noticed him.

“Wow you actually came huh?” Minhyuk greets him with a hug, big enough to make others think they haven’t seen each other in months. “Come on, let me introduce you to him right away!”

Hoseok followed after his friend while he looked around the studio. It wasn’t anything special about it he’ll be honest. The room looking like any other dance studio, except for the obvious change in what logo was hanging on the bright walls. He was pleasantly surprised by the fresh air inside. Although he could still smell the sweat from hard work.

“Hoseok, this right here is my best friend, Son Hyunwoo”

_Fucking hell_

The soft but strong looking guy from earlier was right here. The other looked towards him and Hoseok swear he could see the tip of his ears turn a little red at the realisation.

“So, you’re the dancer Minhyuk can’t shut up about?” _yeah wow, real smooth Hoseok, real smooth_.

“Hi, I guess. I’m Hyunwoo, nice to meet you Hoseok-ssi.”

“Nice to meet you too, and Hoseok is fine. No formalities needed.”

Before their conversation could go the awkward way that it was sure to be going, if Hoseok was responsible for it, Minhyuk started talking about the showcase. Explaining to Hyunwoo why he invited Hoseok to come visit the dance class today.

“Hoseok here is honestly a great music producer! He’s gonna make the music for our spring showcase! At least some of it. You should definitely check him out, you might even have seen some of his YouTube videos!” His hand reached up to the back of his neck to rub it shyly. He really did enjoy the compliments others would give him, but he didn’t like it when it felt like bragging. He’d hate to come of as cocky. His awkwardness didn’t subside at all when he felt the gaze of the taller run up and down his body. _Wait what_. Was this Adonis checking him out?

“Hyunwoo is actually really good at singing even though he doesn’t like to admit it” Minhyuk continued. Trying, but failing to subtly compliment his friend. Hoseok moved his eyes back to Minhyuk as he spoke, trying to ignore the eyes of the other.

“Hyunwoo?”

“Huh?” comes out of Hyunwoo’s lips and the tips of his ears turns a bright red again. Looking confused as he tried to read his friend’s mind. Not wanting to admit he didn’t listen.

“I just told Hoseok that you’d be willing to help out with the vocals on some of the tracks he’ll create, right?”

“I uhm..”

“Come on hyung! You have an amazing voice! Not fair if you ask me with all the talent you already have” Minhyuk almost whines the end of his sentence.

Another wave of embarrassment can be seen on Hyunwoo’s face, so Hoseok tries to ease the mood a little bit. A smile gracing his lips. “I’d love to hear you sing sometime.” Trying his best to show a comforting smile.

Their conversation was cut short by their dance instructor as he signalled everyone into their positions before they started their class again. Hoseok taking a seat by the wall after asking if he’s even allowed to be watching in.

The second the music started Hoseok saw the change in Hyunwoo. It was like a switch had been turned inside of him. Replacing the quiet and shy Hyunwoo with a more confident and secure one. Every one of his steps being taken with meaning and passion, and Hoseok couldn’t help the little smile on his lips as he got entranced by the others dancing. Cursing at himself when he realised Minhyuk was right. He did like guys like Hyunwoo.

It’s been around six years since Hoseok came to terms with his own sexuality. It might not come as a surprise to others when he says he’s had his fair share of experimenting, both in high school and afterwards. He knew that he was a good-looking guy, but he also knew that he wasn’t all that compared to others. Hoseok liked pretty girls with their smaller frames. Their long hair falling over their shoulders and often shy demeanour, but he also liked boys’ harsher bodies. The way their muscles toned their bodies and the way they did everything with confidence. Hoseok simply liked to fuck girls, and he liked to fuck guys. He wasn’t too picky, so why he’s been single for years was confusing to both his parents and himself.

And Hyunwoo?

Well, Hyunwoo looked like the perfect mixture of everything that he was attracted to. The perfect mix of masculine and feminine. His strong built being clearly masculine as he danced with vigour. His thighs strong as they held him up no matter the distance as he leaned his upper body backwards. His weight standing on the heels of his feet. On the other hand, he had traditionally feminine traits as well. Eyes so soft and curious with the plumpest lips Hoseok has seen in forever. He couldn’t help but feel inspired while looking at him. Already making a mental note of creating something powerful and slow for Hyunwoo to move to.

As the practice finished up, Hoseok clapped his hands together while walking towards them again. “Wow! You guys take these practises seriously, I like it.”

“Thank you hyung!” Minhyuk smiled brightly. “Oh, Hyunwoo you wanna come with us to grab something to eat before we head home?”

“Oh, uhm… yeah sure” Hyunwoo replied after a few thoughts. His eyebrows furrowing as he looked at his mental calendar.

“I just ate though” Hoseok said while laughing.

“Never stopped you before.”

“very very true…”

They arrived at the convenience store close by the bakery. None of them wanting to spend too much money on food right now, all of them sticking to their favourite boxes of instant noodles. Laughter was shared between them while sitting at the little table outside the store.

“I actually can’t believe you practiced in that” Hoseok voiced out while slurping his ramen. Eyeing the sweatshirt and facemask. “Isn’t it heavy to breathe dancing in that?”

“Oh, Hyunwoo’s just like that.” Minhyuk buts in.

“Yeah, I’m just warm blooded” Hyunwoo answers with an awkward smile adoring his lips. The smile falters quickly when his phone buzzes. His eyes skimming the phone quickly before he stands up. His eyes full of anxiety as he hurries to pick his phone up, but it doesn’t last long. A full thin eyed smile breaks out on his face as he apologises, before answering the phone away from their ears. 

When Hyunwoo is out of their ear sight, Hoseok looks at Minhyuk with curiosity in his eyes. Whispering out a: “Minhyuk... can you explain to me why his cheek is blue?”

“Oh yeah, he said he fell down the stairs”

“He covered up his face from falling down the stairs?” Hoseok answers nonchalantly. 

“Yeah he’s very clumsy, happens quite a lot actually.” Minhyuk replies with no worries, but the replies confuse Hoseok more than it comforts him.

~

The sun is shining on them as they keep on talking. Their empty cup noodles drying up from it. “Wait, before you go Hyunwoo, I just remembered, want to come with us to the Gorilla club tonight?” Minhyuk rushes out with his puppy eyes on display. Not having a very good success rate when it comes to getting Hyunwoo to go out at night. “I promise it’ll be fun. Kihyun and Hyungwon is also coming. They already said yes”

“I don’t know Minhyuk, you know clubs aren’t really my scene, and how do you know them so well?”

“You’re not their only friend. They even know my order hahah” Minhyuk laughs out.

“What if I say I’ll be there too?” Hoseok tries with a light-hearted smile. “It’ll be my first time hanging out with Minhyuk’s friends all together.”

“I don’t know…” Hyunwoo tries again, but Hoseok can see him thinking about it. Almost making Hoseok feel bad for making him feel guilty if he says no, but as soon as Hyunwoo nods, the thoughts disappear.

“Amazing! Gorilla is my favourite club. You’ll have so much fun. I promise.” Minhyuk proudly says. Slowly starting to stack up the empty cup noodles before throwing them away. “So, let’s all meet there at 10 tonight?”

~

Hyunwoo is currently standing in front of his closet. A big question mark showing in his eyes. He can’t even remember the last time he went clubbing. Although Changho is gone most weekends, like he said, it really wasn’t his scene. However, he did have a bunch of clothes from his senior year in high school that still fit him. Changho saying that he liked the way the clothes hugged him. Especially the outfits he bought for his performances.

“You look so beautiful in this” Changho would say while Hyunwoo looked at himself in the mirror. The long-sleeved black shirt was see-through from the back, along with the left arm. While the front was made by a thick black fabric that shined under the light. His right arm being covered by a faux leather fabric. Hyunwoo’s tan skin looking beautiful against the black fabric. “Don’t ever throw this away” came from Changho’s mouth before a kiss was left at the back of his neck.

A smile spread on Hyunwoo’s lips as he picked up the shirt from his memory. “And don’t you dare show anyone else anymore.” Quickly deciding that this would be a good choice, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Along with it he grabs his old leather jeans. A huff leaves his lips as he drags the fabric over his legs. A little tight to get on, but he nods in approval when he feels it fitting nicely. If Changho saw him in this again, oh the things he would say to him. Giving him compliment after compliment. Hyunwoo makes a mental note to surprise him with this later. His fond memories resurfacing. Hoping for the same to come again.

~

Gorilla was this dark club that people had gotten an obsession with. It used to be one of those clubs only a few knew about, but with social media came free advertising, and the club had become well-known. It was located in one of the alleyways of the bigger roads, the main road filled with restaurants and newer clubs that popped up the recent years. And, if you didn’t know about the club from before, you wouldn’t think of walking into it. Because it definitely looked a bit sketchy.

A small pink neon sign adorned the entrance, and the sound of the bass going through the walls. It wasn’t the prettiest of clubs, but Hoseok feels himself getting dragged inside by Minhyuk and the guys he saw at the café. It’ll be Hoseok’s first time at this club, but if there’s one thing Minhyuk knows, it’s where the parties are.

The lights are a dim blue and pink, making the room seem almost violet. There’s a little stage at the front for the DJ’s of the night. The young adults dancing to the beats dressed in their most impressive clothes. Hoseok decided on a simple white shirt with the top two buttons undone. The sleeves were folded up to his elbows, and with his alligator skin-like pants he was pretty confident where he sat at the booth they found. Minhyuk was quick to order a drink for them each, as well as one for Hyunwoo when or if he decides to show up.

“So, what’s the deal with Hyunw-“

“I knew it! Told you he was your type of guy” Minhyuk says proudly.

“That’s not what I meant”

“Yes, you did, but no he has a boyfriend” Minhyuk continues while looking at Kihyun and Hyungwon. “I haven’t seen him that many times to be honest, but they met at the café” he says, while moving his eyes to Hyunwoo’s co-workers”.

“Yup, so we still see him once in a while, but he’s a bit… off?” Kihyun says awkwardly, not really knowing how to word himself.

“He’s a dick Kihyun, he’s not just _off_. Honestly, he’s so fucking strict and he wants to know about every bit happening in his life. No wonder he’s never out with us.” Hyungwon says with no fear as he sips his drink. “For real, the last time he went out with us was last year…”

“Exactly! I was kinda surprised he said yes to come today, but it must be you Hoseok” Minhyuk says with a wink while Hoseok shakes his head. His curiosity increasing as he downs the rest of his glass. Dragging the rest of the guys with him to the dance floor.

“nooo! What about our table?!” Kihyun whines.

“Fuck the table” Hoseok says.

They dance to the beat. Another drink. Their hips moving. Another shot. Bodies jumping and hair flailing. Another.

The music is not Hoseok’s favourite, but it does its job. The lights and alcohol in his system doing well to keep him satisfied. But it doesn’t take long for Minhyuk to disappear with some girl towards the bar. Hoseok shakes his head one more time, but he feels himself losing his balance a little. Taking a deep breath to steady himself before he stands up again, but the breath stops in his throat as he sees a tall, although awkward, figure standing by the corner.

_Wow._ That’s all Hoseok can say as he looks at Hyunwoo’s choice of clothing. All of it fitting him like a glove. Hoseok has to take another breath before he starts walking towards him. Although Hyunwoo was dressed perfectly for the club, he could really tell this was out of his comfort zone. Minhyuk and Hyungwon quickly followed after when they spotted their friend. But before Hoseok could say hi, Hyungwon shouted out. “Oh my god what is this?! Hyunwoo out clubbing and in this fucking outfit?”

It was almost as if Minhyuk was right behind them, suddenly showing up after the mention of Hyunwoo’s name. “You really came! And shit I haven’t seen that outfit since our senior year. Wow it looks hot!”

“Ah no it’s okay” Hyunwoo said awkwardly. Happily taking the extra glasses from both Kihyun and Minhyuk. Downing them down quickly as he needed a way to relax. It had really been ages since he went to a club. The loud music and everyone around him overwhelming him a little.

“You really do look great” Hoseok said with a smile

“Thank you Hoseok” and a small smile was returned to him.

~

A couple of hours later, and too many drinks for any of them to count later, Hyunwoo and Hoseok were the only ones left on the dance floor. Minhyuk left an hour ago, a girl under his arm. It’s a little bit funny actually. That the one who brought them all together is always the first to leave. Hyungwon and Kihyun also left, both of them needed at the café in the morning. Hyunwoo is already preparing for the dozens of texts he’ll receive tomorrow. All about the mistake of going out with work scheduled the next day. Now, Hyunwoo would usually worry for them, but the way Hoseok is moving his hips to the beat is just messing with his head. It hurts, but he’s not sure if it’s the alcohol talking.

“Hey you okay? Your face is sweating” Hoseok says simply, but that alone is enough for Hyunwoo to stop in his tracks.

“I’m what?”

“Your makeup is running” he said as a matter of fact, pointing at Hyunwoo’s chin.

 _Shit._ Hyunwoo puts his hand to his cheek to see his fingers full of makeup when he removes it. “I need to go” he rushes out before he starts moving back towards the exit.

“hey hey! Don’t worry about it!” Hoseok rushes after him.

“but I do have to worry about it” Hyunwoo continues as they’re now walking down the street. Hyunwoo folds his arms together to shield from the cold. It doesn’t help much though, when most of the coldness is hitting from behind. Touching his open back.

“Why?”

“It’s not important”

“Apparently it is!” Hoseok says while grabbing his elbow. Effectively making Hyunwoo turn around. The very faint purple behind Hyunwoo’s foundation going unnoticed by Hoseok’s alcohol filled mind.

“Can we just go somewhere else?” Hyunwoo says, earning a nod in return. “It’s not far from here” he mumbles, before he turns around again. Starting his walk towards his favourite spot along the Han river.

When they arrive, Hyunwoo sits down directly on the grass. His arms folding over his bent knees. The flowers around him covering him from the wind as he looks across the river. The sound of Hoseok sitting down beside him evident. It’s a very secluded area. No one really goes to this part as there’s no benches or roads around it. Which is why it’s Hyunwoo’s favourite place. Hidden away from other’s eyes, for no one to find him. Or… excluding Hoseok now.

“Is this your little spot?” Hoseok says quietly

“What do you mean?”

“Is this where you go to feel safe?”

“…”

“I have one too. It’s not here though, but the town I grew up in. Even if it was very small, I still liked to go for a walk on my own every now and then to just think, to just breathe. I always seemed to be ending up at the same place every time I did that” Hoseok stops for a reaction, but with no answer he continues. “We all want to escape sometimes. I might not know what you’re so worried about all the time…” The alcohol running through Hoseok’s body removing the filter and carefulness he usually holds. “…and I might’ve just met you. But please know you can talk to me if you need to? Because I’m guessing there’s a reason you wanted to go here right now? Even if you didn’t go here by intent.”

Hoseok moves his gaze towards Hyunwoo and he stays quiet as the taller of the two bites his quivering bottom lip. Hoseok pats his back. “It’s okay” is all it takes for Hyunwoo’s head to fall in his hands, a shaky sob going through his body. “You don’t have to do this” comes quietly from Hyunwoo.

“Yes, I do”

“No, you don’t” Hyunwoo sniffles “like you said, we don’t know each other.”

“but I have a feeling you’ve already showed me more than you have others. So, I’m here for you.” Another pat makes its way to Hyunwoo’s back, and it’s like a switch turned on. He feels lighter, he feels grateful, and he feels a sense of security that he hasn’t felt in a long time.

“Hoseok?”

“Hmm?”

Hyunwoo might regret this tomorrow, or he 100% knows he will regret this tomorrow, but the words come out of his mouth before he can stop himself. And he will blame it on the alcohol until his last breath.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Hyunw- what? Don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“It’s complicated…”

“You could end it? Make it less complicated and all that”

“I just… I don’t know, I miss being close…”

“Doesn’t he kiss you?”

“It’s not the same…” Hyunwoo heaves a sigh as he lies flat down on his back. His eyes looking up at the stars above. “Just forget I said anything. I’m just drunk” Hyunwoo forces out a laugh. His eyes closing along with it. “I’m just being ungratef-“

Lips touch Hyunwoo’s oh so lightly before he opens his eyes again. And as soon as his eyes open, he’s looking up at Hoseok leaning over him. The shorter giving him a small smile before Hyunwoo brings his arms around his neck. Slowly bringing their lips together again for a deeper kiss.

_Just one kiss. For one night. Let me have this please._


	3. my lips are sealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings
> 
> Also not beta read as usual

Hyunwoo groaned as he rolled over to his left side. The brightness from the morning sun turning his vivid dreams into an orange blotch. Another groan leaves his lips as his right arm unconsciously starts to feel around the bed. He usually wakes up alone, but it’s a habit Hyunwoo hasn’t been able to get rid of.

He usually sleeps on the right side of the bed, closest to the window, and furthest from the door. For some reason it made him feel safer. Or maybe he just wanted Changho to be taken first if anyone ever broke in.

Yet another groan leaves his lips before his right-hand touches something. His eyes shoot open and there he is. Hoseok. _No no no no._ A quick lift to the shared double duvet and Hyunwoo breathes a sigh of relief. He’s still fully clothed, and he’s finally realised Hoseok is too. A small smile adorns his lips as he recalls the night before.

_“Can I kiss you?”_

_“Hyunw- what? Don’t you have a boyfriend? Doesn’t he kiss you?”_

_“It’s not the same…” Hyunwoo heaves a sigh as he lies flat down on his back. His eyes looking up at the stars above. “Just forget I said anything. I’m just drunk” Hyunwoo forces out a laugh. His eyes closing along with it. “I’m just being ungratef-“_

_Lips touch his and for the first time in a long time, Hyunwoo relaxes his body. The trust he feels towards this, almost stranger, is both terrifying and interesting at the same time. The kiss becomes deeper before it ends._

_“Is that enough to satisfy you?” Hoseok chuckles. Still holding himself above Hyunwoo. His arms on either side of Hyunwoo’s head._

_“No…” comes out of Hyunwoo’s lips before he manages to think about it. His eyes still closed._

_“We should stop though”_

_“I know” Hyunwoo sighs_

Slowly closing his eyes again to relive the moments from the night before. He doesn’t remember ending up at home, but he thanks whoever might be up there for making sure Changho was still gone.

Hoseok’s eyes are looking at him when he opens his eyes again. “Morning. You okay?” comes out of his lips and Hyunwoo hums in comfort. “Yeah, did you sleep well?” And Hoseok hums back.

Both of them seems to be enjoying the morning until Hyunwoo’s phone goes off, but he’s still calm. It’s not Changho’s ringtone going off. He decided a long time ago that he needed to give Changho his own ringtone so he wouldn’t randomly panic outside. Before he decided to do so he would suddenly drop a carton of milk at the grocery store thinking Changho called him, only for it to be Hyungwon asking for extra help at the café. Or another time when Hyunwoo was at the library, scouting through the books, when his phone started to quietly ring. His hands dropped the book he held, and it echoed through the building. All that for Minhyuk wanting to invite him out to the cinema to watch the newest Avengers movie.

Turns out it was another crisis at the café this time. Hyungwon again calling him for help. “Hyung it’s crazy here today. My head hurts. Please come and help!” The sound of coffee cups clinking and steaming milk coming from the other end of the phone. And Hyunwoo being the dutiful person he is scrambled to get there. Hoseok rushing after. The only problem being that Hyunwoo didn’t change. The two of them arriving at the café in the same clothes as yesterday earned them a smirk from Kihyun rushing to do the orders.

It definitely wasn’t as busy as Hyungwon wanted to make it seem like though. The café was packed, he’ll give him that, but Hyunwoo is pretty sure the stress came from their hangovers rather than the customers. Regardless, he hurried behind the bench to grab an apron. And at least he had the decency to blush when Hyungwon pointed at his open back.

Hoseok came up to the till as well, ordering a cup of coffee to wake up. He might as well get a cup while he’s here and catch up with the other two. It did take a solid 20 minutes before the three workers were free enough to chat with him though, but Hoseok was understanding.

Hyunwoo sat down on his side of the till. A smile on his lips as he dried away the sweat forming on his forehead. He didn’t even get to take a sip of Hoseok’s coffee before Hyungwon started his interrogation. “So, you two huh?”

“What us two?” Hyunwoo asks before drinking what’s left of Hoseok’s drink.

“Oh nothing” Hyungwon smirks, “I just saw the two of you walk into this café, together, in the same clothes as yesterday.”

“What, don’t think that way…” Hyunwoo hurried out. Giving Hoseok a bump in the shoulder when he snickered from his comment. “It really isn’t like that”

“Hey whatever, we won’t tell anyone” Kihyun butted in with a wink.

Hyunwoo quickly sat up straight as he took everything in. His breath caught in his throat as he thought about what he just did. What if Changho found out. What if he put fucking cameras somewhere, or if he was at the club without telling him? What if he saw him with Hoseok at th–

“Hyunwoo?” Hoseok brought him back.

“Changho’s gonna kill me” Hyunwoo whispered as he kept his eyes downwards.

“Changho’s the boyfriend?” Hoseok asks before receiving a nod from all three of them.

“Hey don’t worry. We won’t tell him. Minhyuk isn’t here and he’s the one who can’t keep quiet. None of us will say anything” Kihyun hurried out. Fixing his eyes on Hyunwoo as he tried to reassure his friend.

“He’s right. No one is going to tell Changho, especially not us” Hyungwon said with a small smile.

Hyunwoo nodded and took another deep breath. He needed to pull himself together somehow. He just met Hoseok, he doesn’t need him to see this side of him. At least not quite yet. Just brea–

“No one’s gonna tell me what?”

Glass shatters. Or at least that’s what Hyunwoo hears inside his head. The sound of glass breaking. As if someone hit a stone to the café windows for them to break into a million pieces. He knows that voice, anytime, any day. Hyunwoo’s body had turned stiff as he turned around, getting ready to face Changho after the conversation they just had. Changho looked handsome and put together as always. His dark blue suit fitting him perfectly. He would always dress up like this for the bigger meetings. Always wanting to look on point for his fellow police officers. His hair parted in the middle, subtly slicked back.

“Now come on. What’s so secret?” He smiled charmingly with a chuckle. But, Hyunwoo knows it’s fake.

“Oh, hi Changho-ssi! It’s nothing really. Hyunwoo was just told to work late next week, but I said I’d take the shifts for him. So, don’t worry, you’ll get your Hyunwoo time.” Kihyun quickly said.

Changho nodded as he walked towards them. Lifting Hyunwoo’s chin up to give him a quick peck on the lips. “Hey babe, I’m back early this week, surprise!”

“H-Hi Hyung. That’s great” Hyunwoo swallowed. Hoping the sweat on his forehead could be blamed on work.

An arm wrapped around his waist as the tension got thicker and thicker. It was quiet among them, even when the café was bustling with people enjoying their food and beverages. “And wow look at you dressing up for work!”

“heh yeah...” Hyunwoo managed to get out before Changho butted in again.

“But you don’t work today do you, so why don’t you finish up and we can head home?”

“Yeah…” Hyunwoo said as he slowly got out of his seat to hand over the apron to Hyungwon. He gave all three of them a small smile and a wave as he turned around to follow after Changho who already walked out the door. And if his eyes lingered on Hoseok a little longer, Changho didn’t need to know.

~

The car ride home was eerily quiet. Hyunwoo’s hands laid comfortably in his lap while they drove through the streets of Seoul. His phone could be heard buzzing in his pocket, but Hyunwoo was too scared to move. Terrified that Changho heard more than he let on.

“Babe, shouldn’t you check that?” and Hyunwoo nodded as his hand reached for his pocket. His heart started thumping loudly as he saw who it was from.

_1 New Text Message from “Hoseok x”_

_“Hi nunu, you doing okay? Are you free to come by the studio on Monday? I can prepare coffee, although coffee might not be enough to keep your eyes open x It’ll be a long day”_

Hyunwoo stiffly put his phone back in his pocket before moving his eyes straight ahead again. He couldn’t let Changho see the way his heart fluttered from the nickname.

Hyunwoo could literally see his death if he found out. He could hear the words, feel the punches on his skin and the pulling of his hair.

The car pulled up into their home when Changho decided to speak again “Who is it Hyunwoo?” And Hyunwoo froze up again. He kept his eyes forward, looking at the dark underground parking lot beneath their home. Hyunwoo could literally feel the disappointment. He could feel Changho’s stare hardening as he looked at him. At the side of his vision he could see Changho holding his hand up, and like the stupid idiot he was he handed his phone over with shaking hands. Hyunwoo kept his stare forward as he saw the light coming from his phone, before it was quickly tucked away into his partners suit pocket.

“Let’s head inside” Changho said sternly, and Hyunwoo couldn’t do anything but to follow the order. A deep exhale left the elder’s lips, right before he opened the door to their home.

They both stepped inside and Hyunwoo eyed the older. Confused as to why he was calmly taking of his shoes. Watching the other he quietly followed and did the same before his head was pulled back by the grip on his hair.

“You hurt me so bad baby. You clearly haven’t learnt anything.”

Hyunwoo was grimacing from the grip and could feel his eyes watering up. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” He scrambled to get up, standing straight so the grip on his hair would loosen.

“And you’re even dressing like a slut in public now?” Changho hissed out. “I thought I told you not to show this to a damn soul other than me?”

Changho pushed the other harshly by the shoulders. Making a thud against the wall before walking away. “You know where to go. You got some explaining to do babe.”

The sound of feet walking away from him made his tears turn into quiet cries as he slowly made his way to their bedroom. He knows fully well what would happen if he tries to rush out that door. He learned that a long time ago. So Hyunwoo makes his way to their bedroom. Sitting down quietly at the edge of their bed. Waiting for his punishment for hurting his lover.

The sound of the door slamming shut didn’t faze Hyunwoo this time. He knew it would come, so it wasn’t something new to him. But the name Hoseok coming out of Changho’s mouth made a shiver run down his spine.

“Who the fuck is Hoseok? Did you get dressed up like this for him huh?” he yelled out right in front of Hyunwoo. His legs visible to him, even with his head hanging low. He didn’t know what to say. Or how to answer him. His mind was running wild as he could feel the anger radiating of off the older.

“Don’t you dare let me repeat myself.” But Hyunwoo wasn’t quick enough to react to it, and he could feel his hair being gripped once again. His body automatically straightening up from the pressure. “Tell me who the fuck he is before I punch it out of you.” His left hand going to grip at his neck.

‘I’m sorry…” Hyunwoo mumbles.

“What are you sorry for” Changho demanded as he gripped his neck with both of his hands. The grip on his hair loosening.

Hyunwoo panicked. What the fuck was he supposed to say? That he was sorry for hanging out with his friends? Sorry for wanting one night of piece? Sorry for feeling more of a connection with someone he literally met two days ago then with Changho?

**_Slap!_ **

His head moved to the right. He didn’t see it coming, but he should’ve. It wasn’t something new, but the ringing he felt in his ear was less common. Hyunwoo automatically covered when he saw Changho’s hand raise again. Realising he still hadn’t replied the older.

“Hoseok is a friend of Minhyuk… I just met him. He- He wants me to help with the music for the showcase. To sing, he-he wants me to sing.”

“Aww that’s nice isn’t it?” The fake sweetness making Hyunwoo’s stomach churn. “You do have a pretty voice. So calm and soothing, but you know what else is pretty? You. We both know he just wants to fuck you like everyone else does.”

Hyunwoo shook his head while trying to bring the duvet around him. “No, it’s not like that, I promise!”

“Then why the fuck is his number saved with a fucking heart?”

“I don’t… I don’t know…”

The shift in Changho was evident. His eyes went from frustrated to anger, and nothing else. “He wants you alone in his fucking studio I swear. Guys always want the same thing from you, and you know damn well what it is”

“No, no Changho. I swear, baby It’s not like that. I’m just going to sing. I won’t do anything else.” Hyunwoo loosened his grip on the duvet and rushed towards Changho. “Please I promise it’s not like that. I can say no, I don’t have to do it!”

“Last question… why are you dressed like this?” But Hyunwoo didn’t answer. He let go of his grip around Changho as he sunk down in the bed. Only a few seconds went by before he was lifted of off the bed and slammed against the wall. Face first. “Fucking answer me before I really hurt you.”

A whimper left Hyunwoo’s lips as he struggled with his arms behind his back. The wall pushing his chin to the side. “I… went out last night.”

Confusion hit Hyunwoo as the grip on his arms loosened. He looked behind to see Changho stepping away from him. “What did you just say?”

“I went out to Gorilla with my friends” Hyunwoo said quietly. His eyes still confused.

Changho’s eyes looked at him. Not saying a word until his chest started to heave with anger.

“But nothing happened!” Hyunwoo rushed out, “It was only for a little bit, and I didn’t drink much, and then I came back ho–“

“Was he here?”

Hyunwoo’s eyes dropped again as his mind went back to Hoseok. His calm smile, his reassuring eyes. His lips touching his and his hand holding his neck so sweetly…

**_Slap!_ **

“You let a stranger fuck you in our bed?!” and Changho pushed him back against the wall.

“No! We weren’t eve–“

**_Slap!_ **

That one hurt. It really hurt, causing Hyunwoo to fall to his knees on the floor. Covering his face while his knees were shaking. “Get the fuck on the bed. And take your clothes off.”

Hyunwoo froze on the floor. He didn’t dare to speak, so he held his breath before Changho shouted again. Resulting in Hyunwoo rushing to his feet, to take of his pants.

“Leave your shirt on and bend over” Changho said before Hyunwoo managed to take it off.

Hyunwoo raised his head. His eyes widening from the instruction, not really wanting to do so. But he could see the frown on Changho’s lips, and his legs moving towards him.

“N-no stop I’ll, I’ll do it.”

Changho smirked at the younger. Breaking down the muscle mass that is Hyunwoo was one of the things he loved. Hyunwoo being his good boy always made his heart flutter and his dick twitch. He smirked and stayed quiet for a couple of minutes. Just enjoying the way Hyunwoo whimpers, and the way he looks with his body bent like that. His ass high in the air, and mmm, Changho didn’t lie. He really loves his baby in this.

There’s a chill rushing through Hyunwoo as he feels the shorter man’s hands reach his ass. Before he’s pushed into the bed by a harsh spank. “Did he touch you?” And all Hyunwoo can do is shake his head while he grips the bed sheets. “Are you sure about that?” Another spank makes its way to his right butt cheek.

“C’mon now baby. Look at me.” Is all Changho had to say to get Hyunwoo’s tearful eyes on him. His whimpering and shaking arms making his dick harden underneath his suit pants. The way he could make someone as strong and brave looking look so lost and scared. It really fucked with his mind. This boy was his and no one else’s.

“I promise… He didn’t do anything! No-no one touched me or… or nothing.” Hyunwoo mumbled out in a rush. His breath so rapid, “I’m sorry Hyung. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have gone out. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to”

A smile so wide could be seen on Changho and the younger knew exactly what that meant. It meant it wasn’t enough. Changho walked up to the side of the bed to caress Hyunwoo’s cheeks. “Thank you for apologising baby, but the mistake has already been made. You know what happens when you go against me. And you know I can’t stand it. You know I don’t want to hurt you, but you don’t give me a choice.”

His fake sweetness making Hyunwoo whimper again. His head falling between his arms as he exhales deeply. But his break didn’t last long as his head was harshly gripped again. Rough lips made their way to his. He couldn’t even react to it other than opening his mouth to try, just try to breathe. But the kiss was harsh. Teeth were going against each other before Changho’s lips moved to his neck. He bit down right beside the still purple bruise making Hyunwoo wince through his teeth.

The bites kept going until Changho was satisfied with his artwork. He took a few steps back to admire the younger. He was so beautiful. No one else was supposed to see him like this, but now, even if they did, they would see he was taken.

“Now, I want you to fuck yourself on my dick and show me how good of a slut you are.”

Hyunwoo wanted to sleep. He just wanted to relax and get this day over with. He shouldn’t have gone out. He shouldn’t have tried to enjoy himself. But he still wasn’t ready to give up. So, between ragged breaths he managed to get out “Hyung you know it doesn’t work like that. I’m gonna… need your help…” He knew there was no way around this tonight, but he could at least try to ease the pain.

“It’s a punishment. You should be loose enough from yesterday anyways”

“Please, just a couple of fingers…”

“Fix your posture” was all Hyunwoo got before two dry fingers pushed through his entrance. The sound of spit leaving Changho’s lips meant he’d get at least some sort of lubrication, which was more than he often got. But it still hurt. Hyunwoo was telling the truth, they didn’t do anything like this the night before. He wasn’t prepared. He wasn’t ready.

“Ahh” came out of Hyunwoo’s lips as he felt the fingers push against his favourite spot. He could feel himself harden at the unwanted touch. He hated it. Hated how the older knew exactly where to prod and rub to get a reaction out of him. He felt shameless and embarrassed as the fingers kept prodding the spot.

“That’s the spot isn’t it baby?” Changho said in his ear as he leant over his body. The bulge pressing against Hyunwoo’s thighs.

“Please stop… Changho please” And the fingers left his body. A sigh of relief left Hyunwoo’s before he heard the sound of a zipper.

“You already know the answer to that. Your tears don’t help. You can’t fight it. So just stop putting up these god damned fights. If you could just relax it would be easier for both of us. So just shut up like you usually do and take it.”

Another protest was about to leave Hyunwoo’s lips until Changho forced himself fully into him. Hyunwoo’s arms giving out as he fell on his shoulders. “Now come on, fuck yourself like a good boy” and Hyunwoo knew he lost. Slowly putting his hands flat against the mattress for some leverage he started to move his hips against the other’s still one’s. The pain was there, but as it slowly faded away, Hyunwoo’s grunts were switched for pants. But not from pleasure, from exhaustion.

“You’re not fucking fast enough” he heard before Changho grabbed his hips harshly. A spank landed on his ass again before the older started to pound into him in a rougher pace. Hyunwoo let his arms fall again as he felt himself move up and down against the bed. His eyes closed trying to ignore the situation he was in. He tried to remember how things were when he actually wanted to be with the older. How much better he would feel. Back when these four walls brought him comfort rather than protecting the older from other’s eyes.

He bit his bottom lip harshly as he tried to stifle his own moans, but with Changho’s hand reaching for his neglected cock he couldn’t help himself. But the good news was that it meant he was done soon. Changho never managed to last long when he was angry with him. It was almost as if his anger was making him tire out quicker because of the force he’s using. So Hyunwoo closed his eyes again to try and remove himself from the man behind him. Instead, all he saw was bright hair, a comforting smile and Hoseok’s skin.

Hyunwoo imagined Hoseok behind him. The way his hands would hold him firmly but comforting at the same time. Making sure their hips moved in sync. He could feel the soft hands moving up and down his sides caressing his body carefully. Trying his best to avoid the purple spots. He could see himself playing with the shorter one’s hair before kissing him again. Their lips moving together passionately. A familiar voice would whisper sweet nothings in his ear. How much he was loved and how beautiful he was. He would be the shoulder for Hyunwoo to cry on, and the voice to tell him everything would be okay. That he should let go…

Another whine left his lips as he felt his release, following right after the man behind him. Reality came crushing back and Hyunwoo felt utterly disgusted by the man behind him. He felt so used and hurt he had to swallow down the urge to vomit. The dick inside him left him when a soft pat landed on his butt. But they were nowhere near as soft as the ones he imagined.

“Go and clean yourself up. We’re not done yet”


	4. lucky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear it'll get happier... ._.
> 
> (not beta read)

The shower didn’t give Hyunwoo an ounce of comfort. Knowing that his supposed lover was on the other side of the door, finding joy in his pain both hurt and angered him.

Hyunwoo kept increasing the temperature of the water. The heat burning his skin, but in no way was it more painful than what he already endured. The physical pain of the water felt better than the emotional pain that came with Changho’s punches.

A misstep in the shower made Hyunwoo let out a hiss from the pain shooting up his spine. Fuck. His whole body hurt, and he was so so tired. He was so tired of always waking up… scared? The hours of sleep at night doing nothing to his exhausted mind. He’s exhausted of waiting for the small moments of love and affection, that would in no way be enough considering the pain he’s going through.

Hyunwoo has thought about leaving many times. He’s not stupid, of course the thought has crossed his mind, but with nowhere to go... the idea seems impossible. Where was he supposed to go in the middle of the night? His family didn’t want anything to do with him after their countless attempts at making Hyunwoo leave. They had gotten such a good first impression of Changho, but the longer Hyunwoo stayed with him... the less he got to talk with them. And right now, Hyunwoo haven’t talked to or seen his family for years. Not after the last time he was yelled at for not contacting them.

It would be mean if Hyunwoo blamed it all on Changho, but he can’t help the thoughts crossing his mind. The only reason he was able to socialise these days was through his work and dance classes. But the way his parents started to criticise his relationship with the older also made him mad. His relationship wasn’t any of their business. Changho was kind, brave and everything he wanted. Until it wasn’t.

There has been a couple of times where he wanted to escape to Minhyuk’s place. During those times when everything just became too much, but he had too much pride to do so. Too ashamed and embarrassed to knock on his best friend’s door all bruised up. He doesn't want to burden him with all this baggage, and there is no way he could just assume Minhyuk would let him stay there... and the worst part is that Changho knows Minhyuk. Where he lives, what he does, where he practices... There’s no way. So Hyunwoo stayed. Quietly submissive.

The worst part was the overwhelming feeling of being trapped inside your own home. That was Hyunwoo’s main issue. It was the main issue Hyunwoo just couldn’t get past.

The idea of love seemed so fucked up to him now. Because sometimes he caught himself wondering if this was normal. If this was something that happened inside everyone’s homes... that Hyunwoo was just awful at dealing with it. Kihyun never seemed to be having problems with his younger boyfriend Changkyun though. Not that Hyunwoo had seem him that many times, but they always seemed happy together. And then there was Hoseok, who had shown him _something_ different than what he has with Changho. Something he just can’t seem to get out of his head. Leaving a permanent smile on his lips every time he thinks of him.

But didn’t Hyunwoo deserve the hits and punishments he got? It was a punishment for a reason, right? Changho said so himself. Hyunwoo was a flirt who just couldn’t stop himself from throwing himself at others. But he just doesn’t understand why. Changho was his first everything for everything he can remember. But maybe Changho was right. The older was always so firm on why their relationship changed... Hyunwoo wouldn’t have thrown himself at Hoseok if he wasn’t at fault, right?

The steam from the shower started to make the room disappear from his eyes. Slowly sitting down against the shower wall, he put his head in his hands. Gripping his own hair as he wanted to scream. His long legs hurting from the way he had to bend them. The bruises along his body screaming at him to get the fuck out of here. But the pain in his heart telling him to stay.

“Hyunwoo, Hurry up! What the fuck you doing in there?!”

Hyunwoo could feel his breathing starting to pick up. His legs moving from their bent position to as straight as the small shower would let him. Back and forth. His hands started turning to fists as his urge to scream came closer and closer to the surface.

Another bang came from the door. He could hear Changho shouting.

That was enough. Anger, frustration, hurt, vulnerability. All these feelings just balled into a big ball of emotions. How dare he keep Hyunwoo from having a couple of minutes of peace before more torture was to come? Who did Changho think he was? He was so angry, and he could feel something inside himself break.

So, he screamed.

His right fist making contact with the glass wall of the shower. Making the glass crack. Some of the glass pieces falling down on the floor, but it didn’t fully break. His fist turning red from the cracks as he felt himself breathe. The scream leaving his lips making his throat hurt, but he felt so good releasing it. He almost felt high from the happiness leaving his body with the scream.

“What are you doing?? Hyunwoo?” Changho said before he opened the door. His hand holding the door frame while he looked at the scene before him. Not really knowing how to handle it.

Hyunwoo had started to sob while he kept grabbing at his own body. Not knowing where to put his own hands, but also knowing he wanted the feeling of the other of off him. Another scream left his lips as his legs kept kicking in front of him. Desperately trying to make some space for himself. Feeling like he couldn’t fucking breathe.

Changho was still standing by the door. Quietly blinking before he rushed forward. Grabbing Hyunwoo by his bleeding arm, dragging him out of the shower and to his feet. Hyunwoo flinched at the contact, but naturally brought his other hand up to the elder's bicep for support. But he was still angry. His tears kept streaming down as he pushed himself away from the other at full force.

“Hyunwoo?” Changho said in surprise. Confused by the younger’s actions.

“Why do you hate me so much?!” Hyunwoo screamed at the older. Holding his hands around himself.

The words came out of Hyunwoo’s mouth before he managed to think about it. They blurted out with desperation. The look on Changho’s face was one of pure shock. Never before had Hyunwoo yelled at him like that before. The anger Changho could see in the younger’s eyes confusing him to no end.

“All you do is hurt me! You use me and hit me and fuck me while you blame everything on me! You don’t love me when you do that. How can you say you love me when you hurt me every fucking day?! I can’t do this, I can’t… I hate you…”

The room went quiet. The only sound making its way through the bathroom was the still running shower. Changho stood still in his tracks. Completely dumbfounded, staring at the younger with a frown on his lips. Hyunwoo started backing away from him even more. Turning off the shower while reaching for the towel lying on the bathroom sink. While Hyunwoo covered up his lower body, Changho let a heavy chuckle leave his lips. His hips leaning on the now free bathroom sink. A smirk making its way to his lips.

“So that’s what you believe?”

Changho’s voice struck instant fear in Hyunwoo. Quickly whipping his head towards the older. Feeling the fear down his spine, all the way to his toes. He took another step backwards, knowing he had nowhere to really go.

“You don’t think I love you? You think I’m hurting you for fun? You think these thoughts so much that you now hate me?” Mischief laced in his voice.

Fuck. Hyunwoo had utterly fucked up. He was stuck in the bathroom, close to naked, along with his abuser. The man who always wanted to hurt him, who got off on the feeling of it. Taking every chance that he could get to punch him. And now he just gave him another reason to do so.

“Changho, I didn’t mean… Hyung I’m sorry.” Hyunwoo started to mumble from fear. Slowly coming back from the bravery that he previously felt. The smirk on the elder’s lips was persistent. But Hyunwoo knows he’s still confused. How come Hyunwoo, his submissive little boy, had _dared_ to speak to him in such a way.

Changho stepped closer until the younger was back against the shower wall. Just a couple of inches away from him. “You know you’ve really done it this weekend right?” he began. Bending down to look into Hyunwoo’s eyes. Hyunwoo who had lost the strength to keep his head held high. “I don’t even know what to do with you now…”

Hyunwoo stood still against the wall. He felt frozen in place. His hand clutching the towel around his waist for some sort of leverage. And Changho could tell _his_ Hyunwoo was back. Back to his usual submissive ways. The way his shoulders were shaking oh so softly. Showing the fear that the older loved to see.

“Ah!” Hyunwoo let out as the other’s hand suddenly grabbed at his throat. Using both of his hands to squeeze down on his windpipes.

“If you think I don’t love you…. And that I enjoy hurting you, which I do by the way babe. I love it so fucking much how you’re supposed to be this strong man, but you follow my orders and submit to me so easily, I can’t get enough of it. But if you think I hate you, might as well kill you no? Who would notice?”

The words were sharp like a knife and Hyunwoo could feel himself getting paralysed. Tears started running from his eyes again as he struggled to breathe, all the while taking in the words that just left his lovers lips. He let go of the towel, trying to pry Changho’s hands of off his throat. But he had already struggled to breathe for too long that he couldn’t. Knowing fully well his strength couldn’t match the police officer’s.

Black dots started forming across his vision, and his hearing started to cloud. He couldn’t longer focus on Changho’s face. This is it. He was going to die, and this bastard was going to be the reason for it.

Just as Hyunwoo was about to slip unconscious, the doorbell started to ring. The loud noise snapping Changho out of whatever trance he was in. He released the grip on Hyunwoo, looking at his hands in confusion for a couple of seconds before rushing to the door. Apparently not being quick enough as the elder’s phone started ringing as well.

Hyunwoo dropped to the floor, clutching his own throat, trying to breathe in as much air as possible. His throat was burning. His heart was pounding as he knelt on the bathroom floor. He doesn’t know how long Changho’s was gone for, but suddenly he came back into the bathroom.

‘Looks like your lucky day today baby. There’s an emergency I have to tend to.” A sigh left the elder’s lips as he looked at the pathetic boy before him. Crumbled together with blood staining his skin. His face still so so gorgeous though. The tears making his skin glisten, and his lips plump up even more.

“I’m setting some new rules babe, and if you break them just once. I’ll fucking break you too.”

~

Hoseok had been left on _read._ Hyunwoo had left him on read, for six days…

Hoseok sat in Minhyuk’s living room. The bright yellow couch a big contrast to the white walls. He had opened his message six days ago, like a normal human being, to check for a reply. But all it said was Hyunwoo had read the message. He didn’t really care about people ghosting him, but this wasn’t just a random person. This was Hyunwoo, who had managed to make Seoul feel so much like home within such a short time frame. Never before had he felt so attached to someone within a day or two.

Another sigh left his lips as he put his phone down on the coffee table. Lifting his MacBook onto his lap instead. The music program running, but Hoseok wasn’t focusing on what he’d done so far. It took about two minutes before he put the MacBook down again to lift up his phone. Looking through their messages again wondering why Hyunwoo wouldn’t reply. The older not seeming like someone who would ignore others.

A loud scream brought Hoseok out of his thoughts, putting the phone back down. “Hoseok! Look what I’ve got!” Minhyuk could be heard screaming proudly through the small apartment. Boxes of takeaway food in his arms. “I brought your favourite!”

“So, you finally decided to show up huh? Tired of the girl already?”

“Yah don’t be like that. She’s actually pretty cool we had a lot of fun these days”

“I bet you did”

“I swear she fucked me dry, but we really did just hang out a lot too”

A laugh leaves Hoseok’s lips listening to his friend’s ministrations. Sitting up straighter to make space for Minhyuk and the food. “Anyways, figured you’ve been working for hours without eating so be happy I thought about you.”

“Always” Hoseok says while blowing a kiss in Minhyuk’s direction

“ah whatever, just eat.”

The two of them put on their favourite childhood show while eating. Laughing along with the cast, but also each other. Often talking over the show. Hoseok must say, he was quite curious about this girl Minhyuk found at the club. However, the conversation moved over to Hoseok’s work, and he couldn’t help but think about Hyunwoo. And how excited he was to hear the other’s voice along with his music.

“Speaking of Hyunwoo… have you talked to him recently about visiting?” Hoseok asked but sighed as Minhyuk gave him a confused look. “Well, we exchanged numbers, right? And I asked him if he wanted to come visit the studio to go over some of the songs that I’ve been working on... but he hasn’t replied me”

“Oh, you know Hyung, he’s just slow sometimes.”

“it’s almost been a week…”

The sudden change in Minhyuk’s expression alerted Hoseok. Going from smiling at him with food filling his cheeks, to quickly gulping them down. Suddenly very serious.

“He didn’t reply in almost a week?” The nod coming from Hoseok resulting in Minhyuk standing up from the couch. Suddenly pacing the living room floor. “This isn’t good”

Hoseok frowns. “What do you mean?” He sits up straight, turning his body to fully face his now roommate.

“Look, it’s probably nothing serious, and I know I shouldn’t tell you this, but it seems like you actually do care, so shit, let me just say it... but please promise you won’t tell a soul. I know I don’t have the best reputation with keeping secrets, but this is so fucking important to not tell anyone else.”

“I promise. I won’t tell anyone” Hoseok replied. The seriousness in Minhyuk’s voice alerting him.

“Well... you know how we always talk about Hyunwoo’s boyfriend being a bit of a dick?” Hoseok hummed. “Soooo... he’s a lot more than just a dick. He so fucking controlling and manipulative he won’t let Hyunwoo do shit. Like the worst of his kind. I don’t even know what he sees in him, and oh my god I’ve told him to leave the asshole so many times, but he won’t listen. He’s like a hopeless romantic, no scratch that. He’s like a lovesick puppy acting like he’ll drown without him.” Minhyuk ends his rant with a heavy sigh. “I’ve tried so hard to make him leave…”

“Wait wait wait, what does this have to do with not replying” Hoseok says both worriedly and confused. He knew there must’ve been something up with Changho the moment he saw Hyunwoo’s reaction. But why is Minhyuk telling him all this?

“He’s not actually allowed to talk to people” Hoseok frowned yet again, the information becoming more and more confusing. “The last time he got a new number. And this coming from a literal friend, nothing more. Like it was Kihyun’s boyfriend… anyways Changho locked his phone inside their safe at home. Where he keeps his gun and everything.”

“He what?!”

Hoseok couldn’t hide his anger and surprise anymore. Feeling his blood start to pump as Minhyuk just nodded his head. His eyes downcast as he let out a sad smile. Minhyuk didn’t really know what else to say, but he had seen the bruises. He’s not stupid enough to think Hyunwoo could fall down the stairs as much as he claims to, or that he could bump into streetlights every other week. He’s seen how possessive the older holds Hyunwoo when they’re in public. Making Minhyuk nervous, thinking about what those hands could do to him away from other’s eyes. Fuck, he’d even been on the receiving end of Changho’s possessiveness. It was a very brief conversation while Hyunwoo was in the bathroom before their last performance in High School. He almost had to shout for the older to realise that he wouldn’t fucking touch Hyunwoo that way, and that he’s known him forever.

“So, you think he might’ve done that again?”

“I don’t know to be honest, but history has a habit of repeating itself”

The two of them ended up sitting in silence while finishing their food. No one wanting to speak as both of their minds went at a hundred miles per hour. Hoseok tried to wrap his head around the new information. He figured the older was a dickhead, but locking away Hyunwoo’s phone like a parent punishing their child? What the actual fuck was going on? The way Hyunwoo looked so _scared_ when meeting Changho without being noticed. It stirred something up in Hoseok. And he really didn’t like it.

~

Another couple of days has passed since his conversation with Minhyuk, and he can’t keep his mind focused on anything else. The air had started to get a little colder, getting ready for the autumn to slowly turn to winter. His headphones sat proudly on his head as he walked along the road. He had been walking around aimlessly for an hour.

Not really knowing where else to go, his feet had taken him to Hyunwoo’s work.

To be honest, Hoseok had walked by the café the last days for a chance to see the other, but with no luck. However, he could see Hyunwoo cleaning off some of the tables inside. He didn’t necessarily know what to say to him, but he needed to see him. He just also needed to act _normal._ He wasn’t supposed to know about all of this.

Exhaling, he pushed open the door. His head held low, hoping he wouldn’t get too much attention. Sadly, Kihyun quickly noticed him and waved him over with a shout of his name.

A forced smile made its way to Hoseok’s lips as he saw the positivity radiating of off Kihyun. “How are you Kihyun?”

“I’m alright, just the usual.” He chuckled. “Have you come to see Hyunwoo?”

Hoseok nodded as he looked at Hyunwoo in the corner of the café. Their eyes instantly locking, but only for split second before Hyunwoo moved his eyes back to the now clean table. Although his hand was still vigorously cleaning the table with the blue cloth in his hand. Hoseok could literally see the stress making its way onto the taller one’s shoulders. Almost making him feel bad for coming here, but he needed to talk with him.

Kihyun gave him a nod in Hyunwoo’s direction, so Hoseok made his way over.

“Hi Hyunwoo” he heard himself say, but Hyunwoo didn’t answer him. His head moving slightly up from his hunched-up position from cleaning the table. His eyes scouting around the outside of the shop. “Hyunwoo?”

“Oh, hi Hoseok. How are you?” Hyunwoo said quietly, still not meeting his eyes.

“I’m okay. Been busy trying to work on these songs, but nothing really happening so thought I’d get some fresh air and nice food.” A slight smile making its way to both of their lips.

“Of- of course. I’ll get you something right away” Hyunwoo managed to get out before rushing towards the counter, grabbing a small bowl of fruit.

“Wait!” Hoseok cursed himself when he could see Hyunwoo flinching from the loudness. “Do you have a couple of minutes to sit down with me?”

Before Hyunwoo managed to say no, Kihyun already waved him away from the counter. “Just go. You haven’t had your break yet. Go!” Resulting in Hyunwoo quietly making his way towards the little blue couch in the corner. The couch for the table he was just cleaning.

Hoseok seeing where the other was heading followed after and sat down on the couch besides him. He moved his body so he could face the other, and his heart sunk from what he saw. Hyunwoo was wearing the usual work apron, but he looked oh so tired. He looked paler than usual with bags hanging from his eyes. The turtleneck covering him up reminding Hoseok of his conversation with Minhyuk, and the bruises he thought he saw the first day they met.

“Are you okay? You look so tired.”

Hyunwoo was sat at the edge of the couch, not leaning back, not really looking comfortable. His hands lied in his lap, and the way they were moving made Hoseok anxious.

“I’m okay. Just not slept too good lately...”

It was weird. How awkward it felt between the two without them actually having had any drama happen between them. The way their conversations usually went naturally, or how the silence between them felt comfortable, felt so far away from the current situation. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He wanted to come in here and see a happy Hyunwoo. But what he ended up seeing is very different.

“I don’t think I should sing for your songs…” Hyunwoo suddenly said. Hoseok coming back to the conversation, and away from his own thoughts. But before he got to reply, Hyunwoo continued. “I decided to stop going to the dance classes...”

The hurt Hoseok could hear in Hyunwoo’s voice made him want to hug the older. His voice was small and quiet, laced with sadness. He wanted to cry with him and tell him he didn’t have to. Hoseok could tell how much he enjoyed to dance, and how free he felt while doing so. And he couldn’t help his mind blaming Changho for the sudden ending.

“You’ll find someone better anyways” Hyunwoo shrugged off while Hoseok leaned back against the couch. Letting out a big breath of air as he shook his head. “I can’t explain right now Hoseok, but please don’t be mad. I would love to help you, I’m just not allo- I just can’t right now.” The last sentence so quiet, Hoseok struggled to hear it.

“Hyunwoo-”

“I’m really sorry, but I don’t want you to get involved with someone like me…” The wetness in Hyunwoo’s eyes not getting past Hoseok.

Fuck this. Hoseok thought as he looked at the brown-haired man in front of him. “Is this because of Changho?” As soon as the words left his mouth, he could see Hyunwoo stiffen his body. All the way from his head to his toes. The tension in Hyunwoo’s body so visible even from meters away. Hyunwoo quickly moved his head up to meet Hoseok’s eyes. His eyes wide with shock, and his lips slightly parted.

“How… but what…” Hyunwoo mumbled. His hands busy in his lap once again.

“Hyunwoo… You know you can talk to me, right? I don’t want to cause any problems, but I’m here if you need someone.” Hoseok said. His left hand making its way to Hyunwoo’s, but as soon as he touched the other. His hand was pushed away.

Hyunwoo quickly stood up from his seat. “I… I need to go… I’m sorry. I’ll see you… uhm sometime”.

Hoseok frowned. He wanted so badly to help. His mind screaming at him to stand up and not let the other walk away from this conversation. He wanted to show him that he could be an ally, a friend, someone for him to rely on. But Hoseok didn’t say anything as he saw the older back at the counter. Like a fucking idiot he just sat there looking. His heart hurting while looking at the forced smile Hyunwoo showed the customers.


	5. brighter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are finally starting to look brighter
> 
> (not beta read)

It was quiet. Nothing but the sound of the city outside of their apartment could be heard inside his and Changho’s bedroom. Hyunwoo was lying in their bed, curled up inside his duvet like a larva waiting to turn into a butterfly. Mindlessly looking out of the window, and the way the sunlight was disappearing behind the grey clouds.

He was trying to relax.

Hyunwoo was off work today, and he had nothing better to do than to wallow in his own sadness. But relaxing wasn’t easy. Every time he closed his eyes, he would see either Changho or Hoseok, none of them better than the other.

It’s been a week since Hoseok asked him about Changho, and a week since he ran away from their conversation. He’s only seen Hoseok a couple of times at the café by then, but they don’t speak like they used to. Hyunwoo always walks away, looking at the other with longing in his eyes, but he knows distancing himself is for the best.

After the incident in the bathroom, with Hyunwoo screaming and punching the wall, Hyunwoo had been pushed to submission yet again. He’d been folded so deeply in on himself that he wasn’t sure what he was doing anymore. All he did was sleep, work or eat, then get fucked or punched, or both. Changho didn’t give him reasons as to why anymore, as if the older gave up on hiding his enjoyment.

When Changho came back that night he had grabbed Hyunwoo by the collar of his white t-shirt, while Hyunwoo had managed to fall asleep. He woke up to the new rules Changho had given him. His phone was taken away from him by Changho stomping on it with his boot. And while Changho held his collar he told him there were eyes _everywhere_. That if Hyunwoo so much as stepped anywhere other than the coffee shop he would know. And that first thing he had to do the morning after, was to tell the studio he couldn’t dance anymore. If he was seen with anyone other than his co-workers and Minhyuk, Changho would beat him unconscious… and he wasn’t talking about Hyunwoo.

Hyunwoo slumped against their bed, listening to Changho describe all the things he would do to whoever this Shin Hoseok was. He explained it in detail, so vividly, Hyunwoo couldn’t do anything but lie there. Looking into the empty air as he went over the words inside his head.

The grey clouds outside had started their pouring rain at the same time as Hyunwoo started to silently cry. It’s been happening a lot more recently these days. The feeling of uncontrollable weakness and hurt taking over him. He was no longer allowed at the dance studio, and although that was a safe space for him… Changho claiming there were people watching him everywhere made him too scared to go.

Later that night, while the rain was still pouring, Hyunwoo decided to go outside. For some reason he’s been feeling a great sense of comfort whenever the rain pours the way it currently does. The cool rain giving him some sort of calmness, and the water touching his skin hiding his sadness from bystanders. The heavy droplets bouncing of the asphalt as he walked past.

He found a bench along the road to sit down on. Letting his mind run aimlessly as he watched all the other’s rushing past him to get away from the rain. Rushing to the closest shop or their home. Umbrellas or today’s newspaper covering their heads. None of them realising the hurt boy sat by the bench.

Hyunwoo looked to the right, the way towards his home… his home of pain and hurt and abuse.

Then he looked to his left. And surprisingly he felt this strong pull dragging him in that direction. He knows where the route will take him. He _knows_ the consequences of going there. But in that moment, he didn’t care. He had nothing else to lose so he stood up and began to walk.

~

Hoseok was lied out on the yellow sofa. The TV remote in his hand, flicking through the channels. There was nothing for him to watch. No matter which channel he landed on, all he saw was advertisement upon advertisement.

A black blanket lied on top of him as he slowly drifted off. Minhyuk had taken a liking to the girl from the club. Both of them being on their – Hoseok can’t even remember-th date. Hoseok will admit she was a lot nicer than he first thought. Memories of sleepless nights listening to their ministrations annoying him to no end. But the girl, who he now knew as Lee Eunae, was surpassingly smart and she even had her life put together. Which is more than what Hoseok could say for his own.

After the short chat with Hyunwoo a week ago, he’s been feeling a mixture of emotions. He knew something was going on with Hyunwoo and his boyfriend, but he wasn’t exactly allowed to know what. But there was no way for Hoseok to ignore the fear in Hyunwoo’s eyes whenever the police officer’s name was mentioned. A huff left his lips as he rolled around the small couch, from frustration, confusion and sadness of not talking to the taller.

The rain was hammering against the window’s exterior blinds, making the rain sound so much louder. And along with the high volume of the TV (to counter the noise of the rain), he almost missed the knock against the front door. He decided to ignore the knock, thinking he might’ve just imagined it. But just a few seconds later another knock could be heard.

Raising to his feet he dragged them along the floor with tiring steps. He swears, Minhyuk can never remember the keys to his own home whenever Hoseok just wants quiet and peace. But what he didn’t expect to find at the door was a very wet and unhappy looking Hyunwoo.

“Hyunwoo?!” Hoseok almost shouted, his voice breaking from the surprise. A hint of embarrassment flushing his cheeks.

“Hoseok?? Uhm... I mean, where’s Minhyuk?”

“He’s on a date but, what?” Hoseok said, still standing dumbly by the door while the older was still outside in the rain.

“I don’t… I don’t know why I’m here…”

Finally getting out of his daze, Hoseok grabbed the other’s arm to drag him inside. Noticing how obviously the other flinched at his contact. But Hoseok needed him inside and away from the rain.

“What happened? Are you okay? Wait shit let me get you some towels and like a dry shirt or something. Oh my god where is your jacket?!” Hoseok started rushing around the apartment for the things he mentioned. All the while Hyunwoo didn’t move or say anything.

When Hoseok came back with a towel and a hoodie in his hands, Hyunwoo looked emotionless. His face was impossible to read, and Hoseok didn’t quite know what to do so he just started dabbing the towel against the others hair and arms. He let the towel hang around Hyunwoo’s shoulder, getting ready to step away when a pair of arms wrapped themselves around his neck. And suddenly he had a whole lot of Hyunwoo against himself, hugging him with his face buried in his neck. The cold and shivering boy was now sobbing against him and Hoseok couldn’t do anything other than drop the hoodie in his hand in favour of hugging the other back. His arms wrapped around the smaller waist.

“Hey Hyunwoo. It’s okay. Can you tell me what happened?” Hoseok whispered while trying to convey all his support to the other through his hug. But Hyunwoo didn’t answer. All he did was grab onto the shorter one even tighter. Trying to muffle his sobs.

And as much as Hoseok enjoyed being a comfort for Hyunwoo, he really needed to get him warm and dry so he wouldn’t get sick. So, he slowly pried his arms of off him. The other looking at him with such heartbreak in his eyes, tears still streaming down his face, that Hoseok felt like crying too. But Hoseok quickly grabbed his hand to lead him through the living room and into his makeshift bedroom.

Hyunwoo didn’t fight it in the slightest. He simply let the younger drag him into his bedroom while he himself tried to harshly dry his tears away with the towel around his neck. Once Hoseok had closed the door, Hyunwoo stood silently in the middle of the room.

“I’m sorry Hoseok, I didn’t… didn’t realise you would be here without Minhyuk. And even if he was… I… I still don’t know why I came here. I just didn’t know where else to go or what to… what to do I…I…”

Hoseok shook his head as he came to hold Hyunwoo a second time that night. Taking the towel himself to properly dry the other. “it’s okay. Let’s just get you out of these clothes and into some dry ones okay? I’m sure we wear the same size anyways, and then we can talk.”

While Hoseok kept talking, Hyunwoo started to realise what he had just done. What the fuck was he doing in this apartment when he had already heard Minhyuk say he’d be busy this evening. He _knew_ Hoseok would be here, and he _knew_ the younger would be here alone. Why the fuck did he go here? Making a big wet mess in his friend’s apartment as well.

While he stood, quietly staring as his mind started racing. He could feel soft hands starting to lift the bottom of his blue knitted turtleneck of off him. Never in his whole life has Hyunwoo reacted so fast. Quickly grabbing his own shirt to keep himself covered. Taking a huge step backwards, but Hoseok followed suit. His hand still holding the material between his fingers, while watching Hyunwoo shaking his head. Tears starting to spill from his eyes again.

“Hyunwoo…” Hoseok quietly sighed. “I need to get this off you, you’re going to catch a cold…” but Hoseok saw the panic in the others face. Saw how tense he turned and how his arms tried their best to hide himself. Hyunwoo using all his strength to keep the fabric on his body.

Alarm bells started ringing in Hoseok’s brain. Why would Hyunwoo be so scared of showing his body to him. What would be the reason for him to be so self-conscious…

_Oh._

“Did he hurt you?” and Hyunwoo’s eyes met his own so suddenly, Hoseok knew the answer to his question. “Hyunwoo. Please let me take of your sweater and help you.”

It wasn’t a demand, more of a firm instruction. Hoseok _had_ to know. He had to see what was going on and whatever the fuck Hyunwoo had been hiding from everyone. He needed confirmation of what he deep down knew was happening.

Hyunwoo stared at him. His body still stiff as pole. All the while trying to calculate what to do in a situation like this. He was fucked. Yet again trapped by his own stupidity. He had no choice as always… Hoseok was going to find out and then everyone was going to find out. They would all be so disgusted with him for what he’d allow Changho to do to him for all these years. Hoseok would stop talking to him and leave… They all would… They’d all hate him fo–

“Hyunwoo”

He knew this was it. The way Hoseok was looking at him. The big black hoodie hanging from his hands. His eyes looking at him with genuine and pure concern, and worry, and… _something_ else. Frustration? He wasn’t sure. But he knew that this was it, this was the end of his best kept secret.

With shaky hands and an uneven breath leaving his lips, he lifted his shirt over his head. His own whimper not heard over the gasp he could hear coming from Hoseok’s lips.

Now, everyone who knew Hoseok, knew that he was a person who very rarely gets angry. But right now, he could feel a big wave of anger, and rage rise from the pit of his stomach. His brain not really being able to comprehend what he was seeing. His eyes moving from Hyunwoo’s neck to his torso, to the trail leading under his pants.

All he could see was black, blue and yellow mixed with red cuts and bumps around his body. And not as a surprise, Hyunwoo had an amazing body. So toned and refined, a stark contrast to his own muscles. And if this was under any other circumstances, Hoseok would take a mental photo of the man before him, wanting to save the image to his “for later” folder.

But this is not what Hoseok wanted to see. This is a lot more than what he imagined. He was ready for a bruise or two, but the dark black bruises littering his ribs and the redness around his neck is so far beyond his thoughts of what Changho was capable of. There were old scars around his V-line as well. Some of them looked older, but there were newer ones still with their crusts just appearing.

“I’m sorry. I’m disgusting.”

Hoseok snapped his eyes away from the other’s body in favour for his eyes. The words leaving Hyunwoo’s lips crushing his heart even more. His hands clutching the hoodie so tightly in his hands he could feel them tire out. All the while forgetting to reply. But did Hyunwoo really believe he was disgusting? He didn’t even want to start to imagine all the things Changho must have manipulated him with for him to believe something like that.

He didn’t really know what else to do than to follow after as Hyunwoo sank down to the floor, his feet underneath him. He wasn’t sure if he was allowed to touch, or if he shouldn’t. So, he opted for clutching the hoodie even tighter in his lap.

“Hyunwoo…” he mumbled. Getting no reply back as Hyunwoo doubled over his knees. Giving Hoseok a glimpse of the look of his back as well. Hoseok was disgusted, but not by Hyunwoo. He wanted to cry or throw up from the thoughts of his so-called police officer of a boyfriend. The fact that someone like that was supposed to protect him, but did this to him instead, made Hoseok’s blood boil.

Hoseok slowly put his hand on Hyunwoo’s shoulder. This time the other didn’t flinch away from him. “Hyunwoo, please look at me…” but Hyunwoo just shook his head. Trying to wriggle away from Hoseok.

“I need you to listen to me and try your very best to remember what I’m about to say to you” Hoseok said in a voice so soft he almost didn’t recognise it himself. Rubbing his hand against Hyunwoo’s shoulder. Trying his very best to remove his eyes from the clear signs of abuse flashing across his vision. But all he could see was Hyunwoo crying, hiding and hurting.

Hoseok lifted Hyunwoo’s head up to look at him. He fixed him with the most sincere and intense look he managed to, because he needed Hyunwoo to _hear_ him. He needed this to stick with him.

“Son Hyunwoo. You are not disgusting.” Hoseok said before collecting himself again. Giving Hyunwoo’s forehead a quick peck. “You are absolutely gorgeous. No matter what you think, or what _he’s_ said to make you doubt it. I’m the one speaking the truth. So, believe me when I say you’re beautiful. And I’ll tell you so every day if you need me to.”

~

When Hyunwoo woke up the next morning he swore he had to be dreaming.

A warm hand was combing through his hair as he fluttered his eyes open.

_Hoseok_.

He was laid on his left side. Facing the kind man that was Hoseok. His head was resting on his arm, his pillow having been given to Hyunwoo hours earlier. The bed was covered in a grey flowery pattern that Hyunwoo recognised to be Minhyuk’s favourite from his childhood. Not caring that it had holes and scratches along it.

Hoseok was looking at him with a small smile on his lips.

_“Son Hyunwoo. You are not disgusting.”_

The words kept repeating itself inside his brain, but as soon as he realised why those words left Hoseok’s lips… The way he came knocking on the door soaking wet… crying into his arms… revealing what he looks like... all- all the bruises, the marks – it all came back to him. He shot up from his lied down position, wincing at the pain in his spine.

“Hyunwoo! Hey hey, hi. It’s okay. You’re okay. It’s just me.” Hoseok sat up as well. Bringing his arms around the other trying to calm him down. His hand making circles on Hyunwoo’s back while whispering words of _it’ll be okay_ into his ears. Just like Hyunwoo had previously imagined he would.

“Shh, it’s okay Hyunwoo. I’m here”

Hyunwoo really didn’t mean to do this. To show Hoseok everything and put this burden on him. He was doing just fine, or as fine as he could be doing, on his own. He didn’t need Hoseok. But then… but then he had called him beautiful. With no hidden agendas or amusement behind it.

“Are you okay”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here…” Hyunwoo’s hands were back in his lap, fiddling with a loose end from the old duvet cover. Twirling the fabric around his fingers, finding it so much more interesting than meeting the eyes of Hoseok. “I don’t know why I came here, I really don’t. I just… I was just afraid and didn’t know what to do. And I promised I wouldn’t involve someone else in this, but I…I just didn’t want to go home…”

Hyunwoo continued, as if convincing himself how bad of a decision it was to go here. “I knew I shouldn’t have involved myself with you. I had so many chances to say no. But I just… couldn’t help myself. Just had to be around you, and I don’t even have a reason why. I even, I even told you to stay away, but you didn’t listen either…”

Hoseok used his hold around the other’s shoulders to turn him towards himself. The two of them facing each other. Hyunwoo now realising they were both without a shirt from the heat of the duvet. A light flush making their way to his cheeks.

“Whatever _this_ is” Hoseok said while using his hand to wave around, emphasising the words he said. Locking his eyes on Hyunwoo. “It won’t stop me from being around you.”

The room went silent again.

“But Hoseok… I’m broken.”

The shorter of the two could feel his heart break from the words Hyunwoo kept telling him. The man who had such a kind and gentle soul. With eyes turning into crescents when he smiled without worrying. He can’t imagine how someone could ever imagine laying a hand on him, let alone actually ending up doing it.

Despite the marks on Hyunwoo’s body, Hoseok found him just as beautiful as when he first saw him. Regardless of how short they’ve known each other, or how much baggage the other was carrying on his shoulders, Hoseok was ready to risk it all. For some reason he felt a magnetic pull towards the other. He just couldn’t let him go.

He didn’t bother replying to Hyunwoo’s confession, because he knew that the other wouldn’t listen to him. After god knows how long he’s endured being called every abusive word imaginable and how many times he’s been folded into countless acts he didn’t want part in – for him to now believe that he was broken… Hoseok had to prove him wrong one way or another. So, without thinking he brought his hand to Hyunwoo’s chin, leaned forward, and locked their lips together.

He had no idea how Hyunwoo would react after everything that’s happened. If he would flinch away, push him away, run out the door or stay seated.

But he stayed.

Son Hyunwoo, who had believed for so fucking long that he was unworthy of affection. Too broken for gentle touches, or a sweet spontaneous kiss, suddenly felt soft lips press against his own. His eyes opened wide for a moment. Seeing the black hair shining from the sun coming through the curtains, before he relaxed into the kiss.

Because holy shit, it felt… nice?

Hyunwoo was brought back to the time he went to his favourite little place with Hoseok. The night they left the club together, and Hyunwoo had asked for a kiss . The unknown pull that made him want to be close with the other coming back, and he couldn’t help but feel his body light up with both comfort and curiosity.

Their lips pulled away from each other, their lips shining from their touches.

“I’m never letting you go back there. You’re going to stay here with us and we’re going to figure this whole thing out.”

Hyunwoo stared, completely overwhelmed with emotions. The scared Hyunwoo inside his mind was screaming and clawing at him, because _it wasn’t that fucking simple to leave!_ And that there’s no way Changho would let him go so easily. That this was all just a cruel dream he hadn’t woken up from yet. There was no way Hoseok could get him out of this…! The outcome would be the same as every time he went against the officer’s rules. He just knew it.

But the fighter inside of him was so grateful and it showed nothing more than love and gratitude towards the man in front of him. For seeing him, hearing him, and reaching out to him. His hands grabbed at the other’s shoulders and neck. He needed to make sure this was all real. He was so scared of moving just an inch wrong. So _afraid_ that this was just some sick game his mind was playing on him.

“Hyunwoo?”

“I need… I need to feel you. I need to know this is real” Hyunwoo whispered while moving closer to the other.

Hyunwoo was almost in Hoseok’s lap by now, looking into his eyes. Searching for answers, for any ounce of regret. But he didn’t see any. His hands moved around the other’s arms. Up to his hair, bringing his fingers through it. Then down again to cupping his face. His thumb touching Hoseok’s lips so slightly.

A smile made itself to Hyunwoo’s lips as he let out a chuckle. His head falling forwards before he lifted it up again. “You are real… This is… this is actually real” Hyunwoo said smiling.

Hoseok couldn’t stop himself from smiling as well. Not having seen such a genuine smile from the tanner before. Almost having forgotten how his eyes could light up the whole room.

“Of course. I’m real. And I’m not letting you go back there. This is real. We’re getting you out of there.”

And Hyunwoo nodded before embracing the other in another hug. “Please hold me, I want you closer” Hyunwoo hummed.

“I’m right here”

“No, I want you closer. All of you… please”

~

The room was dimly lit from the sun shining through the curtains. It wasn’t too bright, it was just right. The long summer days having been switched out. Seoul getting ready for winter to come.

Hyunwoo looked beautiful this closely. Hoseok didn’t have to focus on his bruises. He could just focus on his handsome face instead. The way his eyes lit up from the comfort Hoseok hope he felt around him. How his lips slightly smiled, his lips touching each other. Hoseok was just sitting there, his face cupped by Hyunwoo’s hands. A smile on his face as well.

“You can touch me. I won’t break” Hyunwoo smiled.

Hyunwoo leaned towards him to continue their kiss. He’d missed the way their lips melted together so bad since the first time they kissed. It was short pecks coming from Hyunwoo. Littering Hoseok’s lips with kisses.

“Please kiss me back” brought Hoseok back to reality. His hands grabbing Hyunwoo’s waist before he properly leaned into the other. Nuzzling his nose against Hyunwoo’s before he let their lips touch.

Their lips moving slowly together. Small whimpers leaving both of their lips as they tried to find a comfortable position. This was it. This was Hoseok’s chance at showing Hyunwoo how much love he actually deserved. He needed to show him how appreciated he should feel, and how loving physical touch could be. Hyunwoo fell backwards with Hoseok above him. Just like the first night by the Han river. Hyunwoo’s hands exploring Hoseok’s body. Along his arms to his defined abs, to the way his spine curved towards his bottom. His hands staying at Hoseok’s hips.

Hoseok wanted nothing more than to just delve into the other, but he knew that Hyunwoo needed it slow this time. He’d gotten so broken, Hoseok wanted to do his best to put him together. To drag him away from the hole he had been trapped in for far too long.

Hyunwoo’s tongue pushed against his lips and Hoseok gladly let him in. Humming against the other’s tongue. His left arm holding him up, while his right hand was holding the other’s hair. Hoseok pulled away from Hyunwoo’s lips. They were both breathing heavily by now.

“You’re beautiful” Hoseok said again, before he continued. Leaning back a little to properly look the other in the eyes. “Are you sure about this? We don’t have to do this...”

Hyunwoo smiled as he nodded. “I want this more than I’ve wanted anything for a while. I think I… I think I need this. I need you. _All_ of you.” Hyunwoo’s hands were back to holding the back of his neck. “Please just let me forget for a little while...”

Without answering, Hoseok gave the other one more kiss. This time firmer. All the while he pushed down the grey sweatpants that he had given to Hyunwoo the night before. Making sure to be slow with his movements as to not alert him. Hyunwoo’s underwear following suit.

Hoseok could see the other getting insecure about himself so he quickly got himself naked as well, with another _beautiful_ leaving his lips.

The tanner of the two, lied flat on his back, with the other between his legs. Hoseok had moved down so he was hovering over the other’s cock. It was already hard, pulsating from the kisses Hoseok placed around it; one on his hip, another on his thigh, another on his stomach.

“When was the last time you felt pleasure Hyunwoo?” Hoseok asked in between the kisses.

Hyunwoo went quiet. Trying to remember the last time he felt pleasure during sex. But then he suddenly frowned. Images of Changho flashing in front of him... Changho hurting him, Changho pushing him down, Changho taking him… using him. He was ready to stop this, to push Hoseok away and run out of the apartment. But he didn’t. He exhaled, trying his hardest to push the thoughts away. And while he did so, he remembered one of the last times with Changho, and how he had forced himself mentally away from the situation… by thinking of Hoseok.

“Last time I thought of you”

Hoseok propped himself higher up on his elbows to register what he had just said. A light flush made its way to Hyunwoo’s face.

“Last time… uhm when he… made me do- do it. I thought of you” Hyunwoo whispered with a slight smile. His eyes moving away from Hoseok. Quickly finding the purple lamp in the left corner of the room more interesting.

Regardless of the mental pictures showing up inside Hoseok’s brain, his heart warmed up from the thought of Hyunwoo using him for support. “Well, this time I’m right here with you” Hoseok said. Giving Hyunwoo another kiss on his lips before he moved back down. “And I’ll make sure not only I, but also you feel happy doing this.”

Hoseok’s fingers caressed his hip before he kissed the other’s tip. Soon bringing his lips around the other. Making sure to hum around him to make sure he conveyed his enjoyment.

“Oh- oh my god I–“ Hyunwoo can’t remember the last time he received a blowjob. It’s been years since Changho stopped doing it in favour of showing himself down Hyunwoo’s throat. _No oh my god, stop thinking of him!_ Hyunwoo shook his head to get him out of his mind. His whole body shivering from the pleasure of Hoseok’s mouth. He felt his hands moving from clutching the bed sheets to holding Hoseok’s hair. His fingers interlacing with his soft hair, reminding him of being careful with the other as well.

“Ah Hoseok…”

Hyunwoo didn’t even get to finish before he felt hands holding his hips down, grounding him to the moment. The warmth around him becoming too much. His hand entangling in Hoseok’s hair more firmly as his thighs started to shiver. A moan came flowing out of his lips, from deep within him, loud enough to embarrass himself a little in the process of it, while he came. Hard. The feeling of Hoseok’s warm mouth completely surrounding him.

Hoseok gripped his hips a little harder to hold him down. Still trying his very best not to be too rough. The sound of Hyunwoo reaching his orgasm was almost too good to be true. The hardness between his own legs becoming a little more uncomfortable as he felt pre-cum leaking. Craving some sort of friction and release.

He swallowed down around the older. Giving his cock a final lick before he pulled his head of off the other with a pop. Hoseok lifted his eyes towards Hyunwoo. He was panting, eyes closed as his chest rose. Taking a second or two to enjoy the look of him.

It was the first time Hoseok had seen Hyunwoo so peacefully. And when Hyunwoo’s eyes opened, Hoseok saw pleasure and arousal. He leaned over him for another kiss. Feeling his own cock brushing against Hyunwoo’s strong thighs.

The feeling of Hoseok’s cock against him made him let out a soft whimper. So submissive he could see Hoseok leaning back a little, thinking he went to a bad place. But Hyunwoo was fine, he felt so fine. He didn’t want the other to recoil so he wrapped his legs around Hoseok’s waist. Locking their bodies together.

“Are you okay?” Hoseok said curiously.

Hyunwoo smiled yet again. Dragging Hoseok down towards him by the back of his neck to nuzzle into his neck. “I’m more than fine. I promise” Hyunwoo said brightly. He felt so light and free of stress. Kissing the other’s nose to let him know he really meant it. “Now, will you fuck me?”

That was all the permission Hoseok needed. Knowing that Hyunwoo didn’t feel pressured or forced to be with him. He could see the want in Hyunwoo’s eyes. Could feel it in every touch. In every kiss.

Hoseok didn’t know he could be this gentle, or this soft with another person. All his other partners were sloppy fucks or drunken one nights stands. Nothing but wanting release himself before the other person managed to finish and leave. But this, shit, this was amazing. Hoseok hadn’t even really done anything yet, but Hyunwoo was perfect. He was so out of his league it almost felt wrong for him to be with him. Almost.

“I want you to trust me, okay? I won’t hurt you, and if you want me to stop. Just say so, and I will” Hoseok fixed the other with a firm look before he leaned over towards his bedside table for a bottle of lube. He made his way between Hyunwoo’s legs again, kneeling between him. Hoseok let his left hand run up and down his thighs as he opened the bottle with his right hand. Squeezing a little on to his fingers before warming the gel up with his other hand as well.

He lifted Hyunwoo’s legs onto a bent position. A gasp leaving Hyunwoo’s lips. Alerting Hoseok, but Hyunwoo looked comfortable. Hoseok made sure to give his knee a quick kiss before his pointer finger rubbed the gel along his hole.

Hyunwoo had managed to get hard again. His whole body excited for what was to come.

Hoseok on the other hand felt a split second of anger as his finger easily went into the other. The second finger also sliding in scarily easy. He frowned before he leaned down to kiss along Hyunwoo’s thighs. Slipping a third finger in to make sure it wasn’t going to hurt him. His fingers pushed in and out. And hearing Hyunwoo’s pants from above only urged him to keep going. The sudden moan informing Hoseok he had found the bundle of nerves inside of him.

Hyunwoo was a mess. His whole body was trembling from Hoseok’s fingers pushing in and out of his body. Kissing him. Caressing him. It was all becoming too much for Hyunwoo.

“Hoseok please… can you just-“ another moan left his lips “I’m ready… need you”.

Hoseok nodded. Pulling his hand away from the other before he positioned himself even closer. Hearing Hyunwoo plead for him with his breathless, but forever smooth voice, almost made Hoseok lose it right then and there. He grabbed the bottle of lube once more before covering the liquid all over his condom covered cock.

Okay.

He reached down to Hyunwoo’s legs. Grabbing them closer around his waist. Looking at Hyunwoo one last time for confirmation. And as soon as Hoseok saw Hyunwoo’s nod, he pushed himself inside.

“Fuck” Hoseok mumbled as he pushed himself inside. Leaning all the way over Hyunwoo to kiss at his neck.

“Come on, move please…” Hyunwoo begged quietly. The strong feeling of want and need taking over his body.

Hoseok heard him loud and clear. Pulling himself out, earning himself a whine from the other, quickly rolling the other over on his stomach. Hoseok placed himself between his bent knees again before pushing himself back in. He was careful at first, but it didn’t take long for Hyunwoo to beg for speed, for _more._ So Hoseok happily complied. Grabbing a hold of Hyunwoo’s hips before he began a faster pace. Their bodies moving in sync as Hyunwoo began moving his hips.

Hyunwoo was moaning and groaning. Finally enjoying sex for the first time in many, oh so many months. Hearing the heavy breaths of Hoseok from behind him, the way he would grunt and swear before kissing the back of his neck. Hyunwoo was in bliss.

Water started running from his eyes from the overwhelming feeling of being loved and adored.

Hoseok had slipped his legs on the outside of Hyunwoo’s, resulting in Hyunwoo lying flat down on his stomach. His legs lying right against the mattress. And Hoseok followed suit, lying flat against the other’s back. One arm wrapped around Hyunwoo’s shoulder. “Don’t worry baby. It’s okay. I got you.”

It had been months and months since Changho had ever thought about his needs. Usually leaving him to take care of himself, or even refusing him permission to touch himself. Making Hyunwoo beg on his knees for some sort of release from the physical frustration. But oh my god, this? Hyunwoo couldn’t even distinguish if this was real or not, because it really has been that long since he experienced this sort of pleasure and love.

The combination of soft touches and vigorous thrusting made his mind go blank. Nothing other than Shin Hoseok mattered to him at that moment. Hearing his voice from behind his ear, telling him how he was _doing so fucking well,_ was enough to push Hyunwoo close to the edge. But he gripped the bed sheets between his hands, the left side of his face pushed into the mattress, trying to stay grounded. Unsure if he’d end up ripping it completely apart.

“It’s okay. You can let it go. Come on… just let it out”

_Ahh shit._

His attempts at staying grounded and waiting for the younger to finish first disappeared with Hoseok’s dominating and calming voice. Hoseok kept a secure pace, hitting Hyunwoo just where he needed him. A hand made its way to his chin, and Hyunwoo gladly followed after. Seeking the other’s lips as he came all over the sheets. His cry was muffled by Hoseok’s lips and the whine left at the back of his throat was swallowed.

“Hoseok…” he whispered quietly. And hearing his name falling from Hyunwoo’s lips like this made it hard for Hoseok to stop himself. Coming inside the condom as his head fell down on the middle of Hyunwoo’s back.

The only sounds coming from the room was their heavy panting as they were coming down from their highs. Hoseok slowly pulled out before he fell down besides Hyunwoo.

He was about to give him a kiss when he could both see and hear the other sobbing. “Hyunwoo? Hey what’s wrong…?” Startled by the unexpected breakdown.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry”

“Don’t you ever apologise to me for crying. You’ve done nothing wrong. Was I too rough? Did I hurt you?”

“No… you were perfect…”


	6. evening confessions

It had gotten dark when Hoseok opened his eyes again. The day replaying in his mind while he stretched his body out; Hyunwoo knocking on the door, Hyunwoo opening up to him, and the two of them coming together. It took him a couple of moments for his brain to properly catch up with his thoughts. The sudden wave of _Holy… he had sex with Hyunwoo??_ Rushing through him. His hand instinctively reached out, expecting to find a warm body next to him, but there was nothing. Not even a sign of warmth coming from the other side of the bed.

_Please no…_

Hoseok rushed out of bed and into the living room, almost running over his own feet in the process. But the big lump on the yellow couch made him breathe out a sigh of relief. Son Hyunwoo was curled up on the couch with the very same blanket as Hoseok used the night before. The taller was sitting stiffly on the couch, his eyes never leaving the coffee table in front of him.

“Hyung?” Hoseok said quietly, but he could still spot the slight flinch on the other’s shoulders.

“Hi Hoseokie…”

Hoseok smiled while he approached the other. Unsure whether or not he was allowed to sit down, or if Hyunwoo needed some time alone.

“You can sit down you know” Hyunwoo’s voice broke through his own mind. A small laugh leaving Hoseok’s lips at his own embarrassment, as he plopped down next to the taller.

“How are you?” Hoseok asked a little awkwardly. It was almost time for supper, as they both seems to have just woken up, napping away most of the day.

“I’m okay just, didn’t have the best sleep. Sorry if I woke you up.” Hyunwoo replied with a slight frown on his lips.

Hoseok turned his body fully towards the other. His arms tensing at his sides from wanting to hug him, but Hoseok didn’t want to push it. He could still see exhaustion in Hyunwoo’s eyes, but his shoulders weren’t as highly risen as they sometimes were. And despite having seen with his own eyes, the seriousness of his relationship with Changho, he still didn’t really _know_. He knew he had to address the topic, so with a gentle sigh he asked: “Do you want to talk about it?”

Hyunwoo’s legs automatically came even tighter towards his chest, his arms holding closer around himself. His heart started thumping loudly in his chest, he could hear it in his ears. He swallowed, suddenly feeling his throat dry up. He gave a quick look to Hoseok, trying to make his mouth form words. And all Hoseok did was look at him with a reassuring smile, telling him he didn’t need to rush. There was no pity, just comfort.

“It’s okay if you’re not ready to talk about it. Please don’t feel pressured.” But Hyunwoo knew he had to, no, he wanted to talk about it.

“I want to tell you…” Hyunwoo finally managed to get out. ‘I’ve just never properly told anyone about this before…” Hyunwoo heaved out a sigh. “I’m honestly terrified.”

It was true. He had mentioned problems to his friends before, but never to the extent of what Hoseok saw on his body. Mainly because he was scared and ashamed. Everything had gotten to a point where it felt like things couldn’t change for the better, so why bother with burdening others with information they can’t do anything with? It always seemed like the best. No one else would get hurt then. He didn’t need to worry about others getting hurt... except for himself.

“Hyung, I know this is going to be hard, and I promise you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to…” Hoseok said, his right hand rubbing against his own left arm. “We could just go and get your stuff and move you in here. I’m 100% sure Minhyuk wouldn’t mind-”

“Hoseok… It’s not that easy”

Hoseok frowned, but Hyunwoo had grabbed his hand. Feeling the warmth of Hyunwoo made him relax a little. Trying his best to brace himself mentally for what was to come. Because he knew that what he was about to hear was going to hurt him. It would hurt him a lot, but he knew that the place Hyunwoo would go to would hurt him more, and that he would need help coming back from it. Hoping he would be allowed to be there for him, every step of the way.

Hoseok isn’t sure how many minutes passed in silence, but Hoseok could so easily see the debates going on inside Hyunwoo’s head. His lips moving ever so slightly, his brows furrowed, and his hand getting clammy. “It’s okay. I’m here for you. I promise I’ll listen and that you can stop whenever you want. I know this sucks, but I need to know what’s going on so I can help you, I –“

“Changho was my first love, or the only one I’ve experienced so far… at least, I think. I was in high school… I was young and so dumb. He just came and swept me off of my feet. And things were really good at first. They really were, he was so kind and gentle with me. I’m sure I didn’t deserve how well he looked after me…”

Hoseok watched the other carefully. Never taking his eyes of the other, but Hyunwoo’s eyes were stuck on the floor.

“I can’t really remember why or how it all started... I mean, I don’t know exactly what I did, but we had a fight one night. And he keeps on telling me that I’m some kind of slut, so maybe I hit on someone without realising it… I honestly don’t know, but he… he hit me.” Hyunwoo sighed. “I really didn’t think much of it the first time because he kept apologising, and he wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t deserve it right? Like why… why would my boyfriend hit me for no reason?”

It took every ounce of self-control within Hoseok to remain calm at the last part. Biting down on his own tongue before lashing out.

“So, he hit me, but like I said… he was so apologetic about it. And he promised me he would never do it again. Which was true for a long time…” Hyunwoo brought his other hand, the one not holding Hoseok’s, up to rub at his nose. Feeling himself sniffling a little. “But then he did it again, and again, and again… but what hurt me the most is that something inside him changed. It was like he enjoyed doing it. Whether it was name calling or physically punching me around… he just… he _enjoyed_ it Hoseok!”

Hyunwoo turned towards Hoseok. His body shuffling about, finding a comfortable position. His eyes met Hoseok’s directly, and the younger could feel a piercing pain rushing through his chest. Hyunwoo’s eyes were so full of pain, so full of unshed tears of hurt and anger.

Hoseok opened his mouth to say something, but Hyunwoo just shook his head. The older was sure that if he was interrupted, if he let Hoseok speak, he would just fall apart. That he would just utterly break… So, he needed to get it out, before he went back down to his own little hell.

“And my family… my family stopped talking to me the more I defended him. I was just so hurt and upset that they would meddle with my relationship… so, I yelled at them. I know I shouldn’t have, but I was so young and blind and ready for a life with him I just…” Hyunwoo let his eyes fall down to the couch. To the little empty space between their folded legs. “I didn’t have anywhere to go. I could’ve told Minhyuk, Kihyun, heck even Hyungwon. Anyone of them, but I was scared. Changho kept telling me he would hurt my friends If I ever told anyone, and I’d never forgive myself if that happened…”

Hyunwoo forcibly rubbed at his wet cheeks as he continued. Hoseok watching and listening on in silence. “And then he… he started forcing me to be with him. He’d just, just make me lie there as he fucked me or beat me until I… until I’d comply… but I always said no, I swear I did! I never wanted to be with him like that, but he just did it anyways… He was just so rough and loud, I figured it was better to just shut up and do it… And he would enjoy it so much just pushing me down and making me beg for him to stop, only for him to force me to beg him for more. I would bleed on the fucking floor and…”

Flashbacks of Changho’s hands on his body sent shivers down Hyunwoo’s spine. He closed his eyes, shook his head, and felt Hoseok squeeze his hands. Felt the effort of Hoseok trying to keep him grounded. It was almost awkward. Hoseok hadn’t said a word since Hyunwoo started his rambling, but he still knew and tried to keep him sane.

“…he would tell me over and over that I was his, and only his. That he’d never let me leave. That if I went anywhere other than work or the studio… or I guess just work now… he would beat the shit out of me. But he always did that even when I was a good boy.” Hyunwoo’s words started to become exasperated, desperate. “I tried so hard to be good to him. To please him, to do everything I could to stop giving him reasons to hurt me… to r-rape me… to almost choking me to death. But I tried to be a good boy. I swear, I was so good…”

Hoseok could see Hyunwoo losing control. His breath was increasing, and his chest was rising as hiccups started to leave his lips. He couldn’t longer sit there, stroking circles on his hand with his fingers.

“Hey Hyunwoo!” Hoseok almost shouted as he brought the other in for a hug. His arms going around his neck, bringing Hyunwoo’s head against his chest. His hands stroking the other’s hair as he tried his best to calm him down. It was a little awkward with Hyunwoo’s height, but Hoseok made up for it by getting up on his knees.

Hoseok had to tense up all his muscles to keep his hyung afloat. He was shaking with so much vigour from his sobs, bringing his own arms around the other. Clinging on to him for dear life.

“Hyunwoo, I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry you had to endure all of that. You are good. You are such an amazingly good boy Hyunwoo. I swear. You’re beautiful, kind-hearted and so talented. You deserve the world okay? You deserve to be praised and loved, not to be stomped upon like some dirt on the ground.”

Hyunwoo didn’t know how to feel. Shouldn’t he feel relieved after letting out all this pain after years of keeping it inside? Shouldn’t he feel comfort from the soft hands patting his head and back? He should, but he couldn’t help himself from still feeling trapped. That he was still fucking locked away. Changho he… fuck… Changho would figure out he told someone. How could he be so stupid to think he could just _leave_?! And then what? He would live happily ever after with Hoseok??

“Fuck… he’s... shit he’s gonna kill me”

Hoseok frowned, pulling himself at arm’s length from the other.

“No! You don’t understand!” Hyunwoo yelped, “You don’t know what he’s capable of! He’s gonna hurt you and it’ll be all my fault!”

“No one’s going to hurt–“

“You don’t know him!” Hyunwoo shouted, causing the younger to freeze in his tracks. “I can’t just leave him Hoseok… he’s not going to let me go. If he finds out I’ve seen you he’s gonna… fuck…” Hyunwoo said standing up.

He kept pacing the floor for a couple of moments before his legs gave out on him. Dropping down to his knees, his head dropping as well. His own arms wrapped around his body trying to understand what he had just done.

“I understand you’re scared… please look at me” Hoseok said where he’d sat himself on the floor besides him. “I know you want to protect me, but please protect yourself first. You have to let someone help you. Please let me try…”

It took another couple of minutes, which felt like hours before they were back in each other’s arms. Both of them trying to find comfort in the other. _Thank you_ ’s and _it’s okay_ ’s left their mouths before they both exhausted themselves. Both of them dozing off right there on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a hint about the next chapter, it'll be named:
> 
> "Dressed in blue"


	7. dressed in blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta read
> 
> Please be aware that abuse can happen to anyone regardless of their physical built. Everyone please be careful out there.
> 
> Disclaimer: I am in no way, shape or form, claiming that these are their actual personalities or values. This is made for entertainment purposes out of my own boredom and imagination. I do not own any of the celebrities mentioned. If I have unintentionally breached any copyright claims, I sincerely apologise in advance.

Son Hyunwoo was always warm.

Hoseok knew this from the moment he felt the other’s skin against his own. That despite the coldness outside that first night, and all the shit life has thrown at him, he was still always so damn warm. His lips brought a warmth through his body and it–

“Ey! Hoseok! Why you on the floor?”

Hoseok flashed his eyes open. Rapidly blinking his eyes to wake himself up. The room was even darker than before he fell asleep. The midnight had come. But rather than meeting the eyes of Hyunwoo, he met the eyes of a very confused Minhyuk.

_Wait a minute_.

Hoseok looked around the room frantically, his head moving to all the ends of the room. But there were no signs of the taller. He rushed to his feet to look through the rest of the apartment, only to stop in his tracks when he saw the note left on his bed. _Oh no._

His hand grabbed for the note, his eyes scanning through.

_Hoseokie,  
I’m sorry I came here. I really shouldn’t have. I know he’ll find out and then find you and I can’t let that happen.  
Don’t worry. I know what I’m doing.  
I’m sorry.  
Hyunwoo_

“Yah what you looking for?!” Minhyuk shouted, his head sticking through the open door. Looking over Hoseok’s shoulder to see what he found. “What’s that?”

Hoseok was quick to clutch the letter to his chest. His mind going crazy wondering if he should show the note or not. It didn’t take long though for Hoseok to realise what he should do.

“Minhyuk?”

“Yeah?” His eyes searching Hoseok’s frantically from the mood radiating of off the other.

“Call everyone!”

“Why?”

“JUST DO IT! Please…! I need your help... he needs our help.”

It was like a button turned itself on in Minhyuk’s head. His eyes growing sharp by the second, his mind going to the place he hoped he’d never have to. He walked towards Hoseok with intent in his moves, slowly reaching for the other’s shoulders. His palms trying their best to calm his friend down. “Hoseok. I need you to tell me where Hyunwoo is. Right now.”

“He came here Minhyuk… last night” he said as his shoulders slumped down. “he came here, a complete mess. So, wet from the rain and he looked so, so hurt but…”

Hoseok could feel Minhyuk’s hand grabbing his shoulder firmer the more he spoke. Both of them understanding the reality and seriousness of Hyunwoo’s situation.

“…we talked, and for some reason we ended up together… it all seemed so perfect to me. We talked about everything that had happened. He told me how they became a couple, and where it all started to go wrong. How he didn’t feel at peace at home…” Hoseok starts to heave a little as he continues. “He opened up to me about Changho, but it’s almost as if I pushed too hard on him. Because he just kept crying and crying. I just wanted to help, but he… I don’t know. I just know we fell asleep here, together, but now he’s gone. And this is what I’m left with.” Hoseok finished as he opened up the crumbled note in his hands. Giving it to Minhyuk.

“Shit hyung”

“He’s getting fucking abused day in and day out Minhyuk…”

They both went quiet. The room feeling heavy and empty. The words lingering in the air like some sort of curse. They had both had the feeling of Hyunwoo’s relationship being less than healthy. But to say the word _abuse_ suddenly made it so real. They both couldn’t help the heavy feeling of regret. Regret for not having properly realised sooner.

“We have to help him Minhyuk. He can’t live like that, he needs out…”

Minhyuk blinked a couple of times before lifting his look towards Hoseok. The anger and determination in Hoseok’s eyes made him want to cry, but he knew there was no time.

“Right” Minhyuk nodded “let’s go”

_~_

Hyunwoo’s feet were heavy as he walked home. The note he left for Hoseok weighing both his heart and legs down. Every step forward was a battle against his own mind telling him to go back. To never see Changho again. But he knew that he couldn’t risk it. Changho knew where he worked, who his friends were. He knew everything.

A deep sigh left his lips as he opened the door to his house. He could feel his stomach tickling from nerves. The tension in the air heavy before he even managed to open the door. His hand grabbed the door handle, a long breath leaving his lips as he opened the door. He tried to be as quiet as possible. Locking the door behind his back as he leant against it. His eyes closing as he breathed in a couple of times.

“Welcome home baby”

The sudden fear that seeped through Hyunwoo’s body as the words reached his ears was like something he hadn’t felt before. Never had he left him like this. His heart suddenly thumped so loud he could feel it in his throat. His eyes still shut. His legs not willing to move.

He could hear the sound of feet coming closer, and he didn’t need to open his eyes to know that Changho was stood right in front of him. His arms crossed over his chest, staring him down with his disappointed scowl.

“Where have you been?”

Hyunwoo’s jaw clenched. Almost as if his mouth refused to speak to his command. But his shaking legs told him he wasn’t that brave. It was just fear of speaking the wrong words. Of saying the wrong things, knowing all too well his words will always be wrong.

“You have 3 seconds to move your ass to the guestroom. I swear if I don’t hear you walking, I’ll fucking force you too”

_(If you do not wish to read the rest of this chapter, you can skip to the next right away, without losing any of the plot)._

Hyunwoo’s fists clenched by his sides, his eyes shutting even closer.

“One…”

Hyunwoo’s heart kept beating. His breath getting caught in whatever it is a breath can get caught in. He didn’t have time to think about this right now.

“Two…”

But Hyunwoo couldn’t make himself move. His legs were shaking so much beneath him he couldn’t get himself to lift them. He could feel the sweat that was beginning to collect at the back of his neck.

Changho frowned when Hyunwoo wouldn’t move an inch from the entrance. His arms dropping from their position. He bent his head closer to Hyunwoo’s, to look directly at him. Changho’s frown worsening at the state of the other.

A loud sigh left Changho’s lips as he didn’t bother counting to three. The sound coming out sounding like he couldn’t believe he had to spend time on this.

Hyunwoo didn’t get much of a warning before Changho roughly grabbed his hair. A yelp leaving his lips at the force of the police officer’s strength. “What the fuck are you trying to do?” the elder shouted in his face. Hyunwoo for the first time daring to open his eyes ever so slightly. But they quickly shut again at the sight of Changho’s red face from anger. So much anger and arrogance in one look.

Hyunwoo was terrified, he didn’t know how else to describe it. What the hell was he actually trying to do? Running away from Changho? Was he crazy? Has he really lost his mind this time? He dared himself to open his eyes again. His hand reaching for the other’s arm that was clutching his hair.

“Changho I… I… I’m” He stuttered. Having no idea what he was actually trying to get out. He could literally see Changho’s patience running out for each “I” he couldn’t finish. And the way the grip in his hair tightened was proof enough. The pressure so strong he was forced to follow after Changho, further into their _home._

“please stop, I… Hyung please… let go hyung”

Changho for reason didn’t say a word on his way to the guestroom. His breath was the only sound coming from him. He kicked open the door before pushing Hyunwoo down, letting go of the grip on his hair, seeing the way Hyunwoo flew to the floor. Right in the little space left in the guest bedroom. The single bed along with the little desk and table taking up most of the space.

“Are you going to fucking behave now?” Changho said seething. His chest moving up and down from the sheer anger in his chest.

Hyunwoo couldn’t do anything but whimper as he brought his own hands up to his head. Trying to soothe his scalp while also covering his head for whatever was to come. But what Changho did next made even more fear grow.

Instead of yelling and screaming, Changho kneeled down in front of him, getting on eye level with the younger. His eyes scanning the other. “This isn’t your shirt is it Hyunwoo?”” Changho said calmy, his eyes squinting at the other. “You’ve been with _him_ again haven’t you?”

_Fuck_ was all Hyunwoo could think as he shifted his eyes towards the white shirt he was wearing. The one he quickly grabbed after waking up earlier tonight. One of his hands came down to clutch at his chest as he struggled to breathe.

“What did I tell you huh?” Changho said with arrogance. “I fucking told you to stay away from him, but you slut just couldn’t keep away, could you?”

Hyunwoo eyes widened as he let out another whimper. Changho’s hand gripping at his neck. He could feel the breath from Changho’s scream on his face, but the pressure on his neck became harder and harder to ignore. His hands gripped Changho’s arms to try and push him away.

“What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?” Changho yelled as he quickly slapped the younger before bringing both his hands back to his neck. Not giving Hyunwoo time to even fall down to his side.

Tears started to form in his eyes as he struggled to breathe. The slap making his head throb. His hands clawed at Changho’s trying to rip them away from his throat, but his lack of oxygen made it more and more difficult to overpower the other. Not that Hyunwoo is confident in being mentally strong to ever overtake him.

“I said that if you fucking met him again, I’d kill him myself.”

Changho suddenly lifted them both up to their feet, his hand still holding the younger’s neck in a firm grip.

“No… no… no!” Hyunwoo screamed out as loud as his voice could with the other’s hand around his throat. “It wasn’t his fault…”

“Oh, I know it’s all your fault you fucking slut. You’re gonna learn how to behave properly” Changho said as he slapped the other one more time. Letting him fall to the guestroom floor as he gasped for air. Not knowing whether to clutch his own throat or cheek. “When did you become so bad huh? I thought you were my _good boy._ ”

Hyunwoo didn’t get to breathe and catch his breath for long before Changho was on top of him. Hit after hit coming towards his face.

“Stop! Please! Changie..!” Was all he could shout. Over and over again. But Changho didn’t listen. He never really did. The way Hyunwoo tried to hide himself behind his own fists, rolling over to protect himself, only fuelled him on more. Changho’s police shirt feeling like a big fuck you to Hyunwoo as he just took the beating.

He gave up after the tenth punch. Just going lax on the floor, his body moving by the force of the hits. Hyunwoo’s eyes going to the ceiling, trying to focus on that one spot. To stay awake. But the third time Changho lifted his head only to smash it against the bed posts, he closed his eyes. Feeling himself drift away.

Changho took a deep breath as he looked down to the floor. He’s not sure how long he stood there. It could’ve been minutes… or hours for all he knows. He just kept staring at the red marks on the floor and bed, the way they were slowly turning a darker shade. He felt the strain in his jeans as his erection grew, the inner rush of power fuelling his veins.

After shaking his head a little bit, his mind came back into focus. He looked down at the body by his feet. He could see the rising of Hyunwoo’s chest as he breathed, or at least, that’s what he hoped it was. He could see the red covering Hyunwoo’s brown hair. His eyes following the younger’s body towards the shirt he was wearing. And he just knew. He knew it belonged to that other man. That damn kid at the coffee shop. Rage, pure hate and jealousy pumped through his blood as his chest started to heave again from the thoughts.

Changho took a final look at the unconscious body of Hyunwoo. The way his limbs had fallen in all sorts of directions. He had to resist the urge to just fuck the younger right then and there. It didn’t matter to Changho whether he was conscious or not, it wouldn’t be the first time Hyunwoo was out of it during their _sessions._ But the older shook the thought out of his head. Choosing to crouch down beside his boy, running a hand through the younger’s hair. Brushing it off his forehead. Just taking in the tear-stained face of his lover, how red his cheeks had gotten, the swelling of his lips – _as if he needs them even plumper_ he though. The person who he loved so damn much… so much it turned him into a monster.

After a few moments of silence, Changho lifted himself up as he cracked his neck left to right in the process. Making his way out of the guest room, locking the door roughly behind him. He made his way back to the living room, where he made himself comfortable on the couch. The half empty bottle of rum still sitting on the living room table.

Now, all he had to do was wait.

~

Son Hyunwoo had been banging against the locked guestroom’s door for the past thirty minutes, trying to get the elder’s attention.

Changho had been sitting silently on the couch. His phone in one hand as he kept an eye on the clock. While his other hand loosely gripped the now empty rum bottle. It had been over seven hours since he left Hyunwoo in the guestroom. The morning sun having risen a long time ago. Most people would call this time for lunch, but Changho and Hyunwoo weren’t most people. He could feel the alcohol going through his veins. He wasn’t drunk, but he was pretty buzzed. There was a lot more than cheap rum from the corner shop down the street that was needed to get him drunk.

He was still waiting. He just didn’t quite know what he was waiting for. Changho knew that his partner, his lover, his number one had been with another man. It was obvious. This twink probably also knew all about their relationship now. He didn’t have to be told. He wasn’t stupid. He had seen the way Hyunwoo had saved this Hoseok with a damn heart by his name. He saw the way he called _his_ good boy for Nunu… And he saw the selfies taken from the club that night. The way Hyunwoo’s lips glistened in the night, the light making his lips look unbelievably kissable. A carefree and calm look on his face…

Hyunwoo wasn’t allowed to look like that anymore. He _knew it_. And yet, here Changho was, feeling angry and betrayed, knowing full well that the person who belonged to him had been out fucking some random dude he literally just met.

The banging on the door down the hall had started to subside into weak knocks. He could hear the whining and crying from the other side of the door. It was taking everything in him and even more to not storm down the hallway, bend the boy over the old desk inside and fuck him till he passed out again. It seemed like such a good idea, but he continued to _wait_.

“Hyung! Changie please open!” came from the hallway. The voice had gone quiet and small. “Please, I… I promise to be good… to be your good boy. Just open please. Let me out…”

The begging, oh my god the sweet sound of Hyunwoo’s begging. It really did send shivers down his spine. He swallowed. The growing erection in his work pants beginning to drain the blood from his brain, removing every ounce of self-control he had. He could picture it all: Hyunwoo on his knees, head bent back as he fucked his throat soar. He could just imagine the tears streaming down the younger’s face as he just took it. The younger’s hands gripping his own thighs to try and keep himself steady.

_Fuck waiting._

Changho let out a huge breath as he hauled himself of off the couch, storming down the hallway towards the door that holds his lover locked inside. The empty bottle of rum falling from his fingertips. The little clinking sound feeling like a metal gong was hit on full force. The soft whine coming from the other side of the door making him snicker a little as he ruffles his pant pockets for the key. He was thinking with his dick, one hundred percent right now. Changho knew damn well what he wanted, what he needed – what he _craved._

He knocked a little too harshly on the door before he unlocked it, pushing the door open with so much force it flew open. Hyunwoo only managed to take a few steps back before the door almost hit him square in the face. Hurriedly rushing towards the door, out of this god damn cot of a room, only to crash right into Changho.

Hyunwoo looked up in confusion. He wasn’t going to let him out? Slowly starting to shake again as Changho pushed him back inside, following right after him. _Hyung_ leaves his lips as his back hits the desk behind him. The edges pushing at the bottom of his spine.

His breath got hitched at the back of his throat when he looked back up towards Changho. He didn’t look like a human at this point. His eyes pitch black, wide open. His whole posture demanding attention and control. Radiating of so much authority, it scared Hyunwoo to death. A flinch reaching his body at the sound of the door slamming back shut.

Hyunwoo stayed glued to the desk. Not daring to move an inch. His right hand gripping the shirt above his heart. Taking as much comfort as he possibly could from the shirt he was wearing.

The younger can remember, or he thinks he does, when he first saw that look in Changho’s eyes. It was a short time after the abuse first started, when Hyunwoo hadn’t become as submissive as he was now. When Hyunwoo still had a genuine fight inside him. Because now… even when he did fight, he knew he couldn’t win. He used to have hopes of escaping, or of being able to get some sense back into his boyfriend’s head. But that disappeared a long time ago.

He came back home from dance practice that day. His face glistening from sweat, with his hair falling in all sorts of directions. His body was aching and tired from the hard practice, and all he wanted to do was to take a warm shower before jumping into bed. He shouted out a “hi” through their home like he usually did (used to do) whenever he got home.

The elder seemed a little off from the second he walked inside the door. No sound of acknowledgment coming from the other. But Hyunwoo ignored the feeling as he slipped past him towards the bathroom. He quickly undressed as he turned the shower on, letting the water warm up before he stepped inside. Hyunwoo could feel this instant wave of relaxation as he felt the warm water hitting his face, his chest.

But Changho had other plans.

Changho had let himself inside the bathroom, quietly walking towards their shower before he grabbed Hyunwoo by the arm. He pulled Hyunwoo’s body towards himself, locking their lips passionately together.

The younger was caught by surprise, but after the initial surprise left his body, he let himself kiss his boyfriend back. Actually, enjoying the soft touches on his back, and the way the older felt against his lips. His hands caressing every inch of him, but then something happened. A switch got flipped very quickly. Very suddenly, Changho was gripping his ass with such an aggressive grip, pushing him against the shower buttons. Hyunwoo could feel the buttons and shower parts pushing into his back, pain shooting through him from the metal parts. He tried his best to push the older away from him, saying he wasn’t in the mood that night. He explained how tired he felt that day, but he soon realised his mistake. Changho didn’t care, he took what he wanted regardless of permission.

Hyunwoo had pushed against the other’s chest, but he wouldn’t budge. Looking into Changho’s eyes he felt the first slap in months against his cheek. But what scared him the most was the complete blackness of his eyes. They were dominant to the point of making Hyunwoo feel helpless.

Within minutes, Hyunwoo was dragged out of the shower and pushed down on the tiled bathroom floor with his ass high up in the air. His face crushing into the floor making his nose hurt. It wasn’t even five minutes later before he turned into a sobbing mess. Pure pain shooting through his body as he felt liquid trickling down his thighs. He dared himself to look down, and what he saw was red. Changho’s moans above him echoing through the bathroom walls. Then… less than twenty minutes later, he was alone. Dragging his body towards the door before he lied down, trying to keep him out with his own body weight against it. He was crying, the sounds too loud for the quiet room. He had tried to sit up, but the pain wouldn’t let him. The bruises he knew he would have, started forming on his skin.

That’s when he knew the current situation he was in, in their small little guestroom, was going to go badly.

Hyunwoo was already hurt, his head thumping from the earlier blows, from the way his head hit the floor. He needed to sit down, needed to maybe go to the hospital for a little bit. The dried liquid in his hair was very clearly blood. He didn’t need to see the colour to recognise the smell. He didn’t need confirmation to know he wouldn’t be allowed to deal with any of those matters at the moment.

‘Hands out” was all the elder said. No, what he demanded. His eyes staring him down like a predator stalking its prey. The elder’s bulge clearly showing what he wanted.

“Now Hyunwoo.” He demanded again. The words hitting Hyunwoo with new fear. His eyes suddenly registering the tie in Changho’s hands. The shirt collar suddenly not as put together as it was moments before.

Hyunwoo was still frozen in his spot. His whole body felt numb, both figuratively and literally. His brain struggling to keep up with what was happening. He just stood there, eyes wide, looking of nothing but panic and fear.

Impatiently, Changho grabbed one of his forearms, causing Hyunwoo to flinch where he stood. Within a few moments, Hyunwoo’s wrists were bound to his back with the police officer’s tie.

“On your knees baby”

Hyunwoo winced at the next demand, before feeling his legs buckle with the automatic weight of submission. His heavy and aching body screaming with every centimetre he came closer to the ground. He saw the smirk on Changho’s lips as he struggled to kneel. The elder’s eyes still dark with arousal. He had always loved it when Hyunwoo was submissive, which was pretty much all of the time. Loved watching the look in his eyes as he thought about his options, knowing fully well he’d end up listening anyways.

Hyunwoo watched with tear filled eyes as the man he truly truly hated pulled down his pants and underwear in one swift motion. The elder’s erection right in front of Hyunwoo’s face.

“Open your mouth.”

The fourth demand was not unexpected. He internally cursed himself when he felt his mouth automatically go slack. Internally screaming as he felt Changho slide into him. Then internally laughing at himself for being so fucking weak and pathetic. He didn’t even try…

It didn’t take long for the older to begin fucking his mouth harshly. Hands gripping into the brown locks, keeping his head in place as he used him as he wished to. Changho was just grunting from above him. His free hand, roughly coming down against Hyunwoo’s cheek every now and then. The animalistic dominance consuming him.

It felt like torture, no, it was torture. Hyunwoo thought he might pass out again from the lack of air. He could barely breathe. The tears streaming down his face, and his snot running made him feel disgusting. The grip on his hair was painful, pulling at his already sensitive scalp. And the fact that his hands were bound, making it impossible for him to even try to push the other way, terrified him.

Hyunwoo was just so angry with himself, with Changho and the whole fucking world for giving him this life. Why did he even feel like leaving Hoseok? Why the _fuck_ did he do that? He knew damn well what would happen when he walked back into this place. He knew his actions wouldn’t go unpunished.

The safety he felt with the younger was so unreal and it confused him to no end. Why did he go back to being smacked around like some ragdoll, rather than being with the man that made him feel safe? Feel loved. He wanted Hoseok. He _needed_ him.

Hyunwoo started whimpering at the thought of the beautiful Hoseok. How handsome he was, how soft and careful he was – yet firm.

The grip in his hair tightening by the second. Changho getting off by the pain and discomfort written on the younger’s face. “Look at you baby. So, fucking pathetic. So, worthless without a good fuck” the older grunted out. His cock finally being pulled from Hyunwoo’s lips, but the grip in his hair was persistent.

Changho radiated of arrogance as he looked at the younger boy. The sight was just beautiful. The broad shoulders of Hyunwoo slumped down in fear. His strong arms hanging limply by his sides, while still struggling with the knot around his wrists. The younger’s eyes glazed over with sadness and anger.

“Don’t you just hate me Hyunwoo? You hate me so damn much” Changho mocked, slapping the younger across the face. Skin red and swollen. “I can see it in your eyes baby. You despise me so much.”

Changho could feel a small pull on the grip he had on Hyunwoo’s hair. Slowly loosening the grip he had, only to see a small nod. The brown haired’s head bobbing up and down in a slow motion. He kept nodding as the silent tears fell down his cheeks. Heavy breaths leaving his lips. It was a sight to behold and one that Changho fucking loved. It made his heart race, and butterflies appear in his stomach. His dick pulsating.

Hyunwoo wanted to fight back, he really did. But his breath was knocked out of him as he was pushed down to the floor with such a force. His knuckles pushing against his back painfully. Feeling claustrophobic from the inability to move his hands. He could feel Changho’s hands unfastening his jeans, sliding them down along with his underwear within seconds.

“No! stop, please just stop!” Hyunwoo screamed, voice so hoarse he barely recognised his own voice. “no… please no…”

But he knew his begging only fuelled the older more. He knew it made it worse. That Changho would go harder, rougher and even more aggressively. But he couldn’t stop the whines of _no’_ s leaving his lips. All he could do with his hands bound was wiggle helplessly on the floor.

Hyunwoo was crying hysterically, again. Feeling his legs part to make way for the older man. But the man above him kept yelling at him, slapping him and forcing his legs apart. Changho’s hands gripped his limps painfully hard, but Hyunwoo couldn’t make himself stop this time. He tried. Tried so fucking hard to get away.

It wasn’t until two rough hands appeared around his throat again that he stopped moving. Freezing up from the all too well-known pressure on his neck. He struggled to breathe, to move, to even think as he felt the prodding sensation at his entrance. He couldn’t get away from Changho’s desire to take control. To take exactly what he wanted. His vision started to cloud. The thrusts of the older almost going unnoticed by Hyunwoo as he lied there almost limp. Like Changho’s didn’t think he was worth anything.

Just as he was about to lose consciousness, the grip on his neck suddenly disappeared. He instantly took in huge heaves of breath, trying to catch himself. To calm down the burning feeling in his throat.

Changho was still inside him, but he was still. It was almost like the other was frozen in place, his eyes turning to slits and his eyebrows narrowing. It took Hyunwoo a couple of seconds to come back, to feel the floor against his back. To hear the loud bangs coming from the front door. He was sure it had to be coming from there. No one else was inside their home. It was like clenched fists hitting against the surface of the door with angry shouts coming their way. He assumed Changho was going to ignore the noise until a familiar voice came through. It was muffled, but Hyunwoo could recognise that voice anywhere.

Lee Hoseok.

It was like time stopped, and a bucket of ice-cold water was thrown over him. His brain went into high gear, but his body shut down. He watched as a smirk made its way across Changho’s face. Watched as the older looked down on him with confidence. Changho knew who was on their front door.

Hyunwoo’s fear increased as Changho stood up. Pulling out of him in the process. The suddenness making another whimper leave his lips. Changho put his pants back on before he left the room.

“Looks like we have a guest baby. I’d better go and say hi” he said with an amusing look on his face. Slamming the door shut behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will come in 1-2 weeks! It's almost finished x


	8. first snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all starting to look brighter.

Just as he was about to lose consciousness, the grip on his neck suddenly disappeared. He instantly took in huge heaves of breath, trying to catch himself. To calm down the burning feeling in his throat.

Changho was still inside him, but he was still. It was almost like the other was frozen in place, his eyes turning to slits and his eyebrows narrowing. It took Hyunwoo a couple of seconds to come back, to feel the floor against his back. To hear the loud bangs coming from the front door. He was sure it had to be coming from there. No one else was inside their home. It was like clenched fists hitting against the surface of the door. He assumed Changho was going to ignore the noise until a familiar voice came through. It was muffled, but Hyunwoo could recognise that voice anywhere.

Lee Hoseok.

It was like time stopped, and a bucked of ice-cold water was thrown on him. His brain went into high gear, but his body shut down. He watched as a smirk made its way across Changho’s face. Watched as the older looked down on him with confidence. Changho knew who was on their front door.

Hyunwoo’s fear increased as Changho stood up. Pulling out of him in the process. The suddenness making another whimper leave his lips. Changho put his pants back on before he left the room.

“Looks like we have a guest baby. I’d better go and say hi” he said with an amusing look on his face. Slamming the door shut behind him.

~

Hoseok was lying on Minhyuk’s bright yellow couch. His body taking up all the space while Minhyuk explained what was going on to both Kihyun and Hyungwon who had rushed over half asleep. Not even wondering why the other two were awake at this hour. Hoseok wasn’t really paying attention to the conversation in all honesty. He had more than enough to deal with inside of his head. Not really knowing what to add to the conversation happening on the floor in front of him. All he could see was how Kihyun and Hyungwon’s expressions changed as Minhyuk explained. Kihyun’s eyes became harsher and harsher as he listened. His jawline jutting out, clenching his teeth to the story. Kihyun had always known something was up, but for that something to be _that_ bad? He was at a loss for words.

On the other hand, Hyungwon was always easy to read. He looked disgusted with what he was hearing. Ignoring the itch to roll his eyes every few seconds. His lips shutting together, jutting out with his infamous judgemental look. Fucking knew Changho was a dick. Knowing he had been right made him both relaxed (that he wasn’t awful at reading the situations) and pissed off for not being tough enough to bring it up with Hyunwoo. Or actually, he had tried to talk to Hyunwoo about it, but the older wouldn’t budge an inch when talking negatively of his boyfriend. Hyunwoo had even promised him… promised him that Changho had stopped hitting him. He can’t believe he didn’t question it more.

Hyungwon and Minhyuk had to hold Kihyun down before he stormed out of the apartment. Being able to feel the heat and anger radiating of off the pink haired man.

“What the fuck guys, you expect me to just sit here after what you just told me??”

“No Kihyun shit, I don’t. But even Hoseok is realistic enough knowing we need a fucking plan. He a cop god dammit!” Minhyuk shouted.

“I can’t believe this. This guy is supposed to be protecting us? From who? Himself?” Hyungwon exclaimed in reply.

“Even Changkyun said he was weird.” Kihyun followed.

Minhyuk’s brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Changkyun is a cop did you forget?” Kihyun huffed. “I’ve talked to him about Hyunwoo quite a bit, and he told me he didn’t see Changho much since they worked in different departments… but he told me that when he does see him, he wears his usual fucking arrogance on display. I can imagine even more while he’s in the damn suit” Kihyun continued to huff out as he spoke.

Hoseok just focused on the little pecs of dust lying on their coffee table as he halfway listened to their conversation. His head was so out of it he could barely even see the other three. All he could do was think about Hyunwoo, and how with every second they’re here arguing he could be even more hurt.

Morning had come. It was fucking 10 am, none of them having slept while they waited for everyone to arrive and knowing that Hyunwoo would be stuck with that monster for the rest of the morning and possibly day, scared the shit out of him. He didn’t know what to do. He really didn’t. When their two friends first arrived, he was so ready to just storm out of the apartment and march to Hyunwoo’s home to drag him away. He was so confident that they’d be able to do it. But as reality dawned on him, he knew they needed a plan. You can’t just storm into an officer’s house without a plan. They’d have their fucking asses beat with laws upon laws that they must’ve broken while doing so. If they just had someone on the inside on their tea- _wait_!

“Wait what?” Hoseok said from the couch. Slowly sitting up straight to get a good view of the three guys holding each other from the door. “Your boyfriend’s a cop?!?”

“Yeah he is… I thought you all knew?” Kihyun replied

“Heck I did! Fuck we need him to help us. Do you think you, you could…” Hoseok hesitated for a little bit before he continued. His throat suddenly drying up from the new realisation. He had never been this angry about something in his life, and such a huge part of him just wanted Changho to physically pay for all he had done. But he knew that was a ridiculous wish. He didn’t need to be a superhero doing impulsive shit, he needed to ensure the safety of Hyunwoo. That he would get out safely. “Could you… maybe ask him to I don’t know. Come with us or something?”

“I could call him, but the thing is… we need some sort of proof of what’s happening. I can’t just tell him this and expect him to send his men out on something he doesn’t have proof of happening. He’s not even the boss… I don’t know if you guys forgot, but he’s younger than all of us… Of course, he’s not the boss. I can’t let him risk his carrier on this.” Kihyun said sadly. His eyes downcast, not daring to look his new friend in the eyes.

“Proof?! His whole body is fucking littered with bruises, what more do they need?”

Kihyun sighed, knowing from what he’s seen in the past and what he’s now heard, that Hyunwoo is a clear victim of violent abuse. Even if Changho denied it for all he’s worth. Just a quick look at Hyunwoo would prove otherwise. Hoseok looked at Kihyun with hopeful but sad eyes. He knew he was asking a lot, but he just felt so helpless. He wanted to help so bad. To do _something_ to make Hyunwoo’s life better. It was a feeling of not being good enough to help. And the guilt of it made it all worse.

“We would have to contact Hyunwoo somehow… does he have his phone now?” Kihyun asked. The three men by the door separating as they discussed this new plan that was forming in all of their heads. Hyungwon plopping himself down besides Hoseok on the couch.

Hoseok shook his head. “He didn’t have it with him yesterday. And I’m sure Changho wouldn’t let him have it back after he disappeared for almost two nights.”

Kihyun swore quietly as he rubbed his head, trying to think of something else. “Okay, let’s just rush to the station. Changkyun is there with his partner on night call anyways.” He continued as he rushed to put on his shoes again. Throwing everyone their jackets hanging by the door. Everyone nodding and following quickly behind.

Kihyun stopped right outside the door. Stopping everyone else in the process. “You’re going to have to give them as much details as possible Hyung. You okay with that?” Kihyun looked at Hoseok sternly. Receiving a firm nod back.

Hoseok wasn’t sure though how he would manage to, but he had to. Putting all these things he heard and saw from the older into his own words to strangers? Strangers who possibly had Changho as their friend? Superior? It terrified him. His hands shaking a little as he thought about the worst possible outcome: laughing.

Once Kihyun had Hoseok’s confirmation, he ushered everyone back inside. The looks of confusion in everyone’s eyes, while he forced them back inside was too comical for the current situation. But Kihyun insisted that they needed a plan before barging in there. Realisation dawning on him. They needed to be sensible and calm, or as calm as they could be at 11 in the morning after being awake most of the night. But they needed to be prepared for what they were going to say. And worst of all, they had to be prepared to be rejected, to have some sort of plan B. The main goal was to get Hyunwoo out.

Hoseok was leaning against the living room wall as he eyed Hyungwon’s pack of cigarettes lying safely on the table. His arms folded in front of him. Suddenly getting the craving to smoke. He didn’t smoke much in all honesty. The only times was either while he was drinking, or when he really needed to collect himself. He pushed himself of off the wall, striding towards the package. He picked it up while eyes were following him.

“What are you doing?” Hyungwon eyed him. The three of them talking about what to do when they got to the station. But Hoseok couldn’t stand being in this apartment right now. They had been here the whole night: waking up without Hyunwoo, explaining everything to Minhyuk, convince Hyungwon and Kihyun to come to their apartment so early in the morning, and now having to plan their visit to the police station…. Hoseok was exhausted from this talk, He needed to clear his head to get back in the game.

It was cold outside when he shut the apartment door close. Ignoring Hyungwon’s question. The sky was white, filled with the chill morning clouds of the approaching winter. He brought the cigarette to his lips while searching for a lighter in his pocket. Only to realise he doesn’t actually smoke. Why would he have a lighter in his pocket? A small curse leaves his lips as he angrily brought the cigarette back into his pocket.

He didn’t walk far, leaning against one of the apartments further down the road. He closed his eyes. Brining the jacket closer around himself. Hoseok was a summer person, he really disliked the cold. He hated it. His heart ached while his thoughts went back to Hyunwoo. He wanted to see him. To feel him again, to feel his warmth.

Hyunwoo.

It amazed and scared him how close he’d gotten to Hyunwoo in such a short time. Hyunwoo went from being this shy dancer Hoseok knew as Minhyuk’s friend, to being the main focus of his life. His light brown hair and soft eyes that crinkled when he smiled.

Hyunwoo.

Hoseok opened his eyes. Blinking towards the bright whiteness of the sky. His eyes tearing up a little bit from it. His eyes wandering down the streets. He could see people everywhere. People on their way to work, leaving work, students on a break from their classes, and he saw a lot of couples. People in love surrounding him. Girls and guys holding hands keeping each other warm in the cold. Their breaths coming out in smoke from the coldness. But they didn’t seem to have a care in the world. They looked so happy.

Hyunwoo!

No. Hoseok can’t just stand here and wait for them to come up with a plan, whenever that might be. His brain going into overdrive as his head and heart was filled with pain, anger, frustration, fear… and perhaps love? It hurt. Almost to the point of Hoseok’s legs buckling underneath him. But instead of falling, he began to move. His legs running on their own accord in the direction of Hyunwoo.

~

“I can’t believe this is happening!” Hyungwon exclaimed. His arms flailing by his sides where he sat in Minhyuk’s living room. “We all saw the damn signs, but maybe we were… too scared? To do something about it?” Hyungwon let a little laugh escape his lips. “I always thought Hyunwoo would come to at least one of us, you know?”

Kihyun nodded his head along. “Me too. I even saw him pick up Hyunwoo from work the other day. I even asked if the man needed help with anything, because it was like I could feel that _something_ was off. But he just said “no” with such a natural easy smile? It threw me off a bit.”

Hyungwon nodded along when Minhyuk butted in, shaking his head in the process “yeah the one he always makes whenever he brings Hyunwoo from us? His eyes look so fucking smug, I can’t.”

Minhyuk could cry, he really could. He’s known Hyunwoo for the longest out of all of them. He could see Hyunwoo’s face in his head. Every time his boyfriend would enter a room the past years, his face would drop just a tiny bit. Not enough to be obvious, but enough for it to show to your best friend. They always knew Changho was a bully. He really radiated of so much dominance and superiority, like he looked down on everyone. Having Hyunwoo follow him like a leashed puppy. But none of them knew exactly how bad it was.

Hoseok wasn’t back yet, so Hyungwon walked towards the entrance door. Opening the door to scout for his missing cigarette package and frazzled friend. His eyes scanning the roads in all directions, but he couldn’t see anyone. _Shit_ was all he could think as he rushed out, running up and down the streets, but with no sight of the older.

“What is it?” came from Minhyuk when he stormed back inside the door. A puzzled look on his face.

“It’s Hoseok… He’s gone!”

~

Hoseok didn’t really know what he was doing where he stood outside the familiar door of Hyunwoo’s home. The only time he went here, he was still a little tipsy. But he remembers this door all too well. The way through the hallway, up the staircase, and in to Hyunwoo’s bedroom. Trying to ignore the signs of Changho’s presence: the dirty police shirts hanging over the chair in the kitchen, the cologne that definitely didn’t smell like Hyunwoo’s in the bathroom, and the empty liquor bottles along the way.

A deep breath in. A deep breath out, before Hoseok banged on the door with all his might. He couldn’t hear anything from the inside. Stopping his knocks every now and then to try to listen for any kind of noise.

“Hyunwoo!” he continued to knock and shout. “Are you in there?!”

But still no answer.

“Hyunwoo! Please it’s Hoseok!”

All he was met with was silence. His knuckles leaving one last harsh knock before he let his hand fall slowly along the door. The silence didn’t last long though before the door swung open. His eyes moving up from the police officer jeans he saw in front of him, following the design of the other’s shirt until he landed on his face.

Changho.

His hair looked a mess. His whole demeanour looked tired, trying to get in as much air as he could without making Hoseok see he was tired. It was everything Hoseok expected to see. Changho was taller than him, knowing Hyunwoo was similar to his boyfriend, but Hoseok was bigger. He knew that very few people could beat him when it came to muscle mass. But muscle mass didn’t mean he knew how to fight an officer.

Changho was built as well, clearly muscular. The mole under the inside of his right eye giving his cat like eyes a unique point. He was a handsome man, stupidly so. Annoying Hoseok to no end. The way his eyes was locked in on him, knowing what Hoseok was doing here.

“Yes? Anything I can help you with?” came from Changho’s lips. The casual tone of his question taking Hoseok by surprise. An obnoxious smirk spreading across his lips.

Hoseok almost forgot how to form words with his mouth, but he pushed away all the insecurity, willing himself to stand proud for Hyunwoo.

“Shut up. I’m here for Hyunwoo.” Ignoring the way his stomach was churning from nerves as he stood up to the older man.

Changho’s eyes narrowed for a split second before that glint in his eyes came back. His smirk still persistent on his lips. “Hyunwoo isn’t here”

“I know he is you fuck. And I know what you’re doing him. Let him go, or I’ll call the police over.” Hoseok said as he took a brave step inside.

The mention of the police got Changho to drop his smirk. His lips pressing together into a thin line. His eyes becoming darker as he looked the younger man up and down.

“What I’m doing to him? What exactly am I doing to him?” Changho said as he stepped even closer to Hoseok, shutting the door behind him. “I’m not doing shit. Don’t meddle in other’s business. Hyunwoo is fine.”

Hoseok could feel it then: the hurt, the frustration, the anger, all of it welling up inside of him. He could feel how the older was trying to intimidate him. Closing the door behind him was a clear sign. _Think about your next step closely, you’re in my house now._

But Hoseok was too far in to stop. “Don’t play dumb! No more bullshit. I’ve seen what you’ve done to him. You can try to lie, but Hyunwoo’s body doesn’t.”

The mention of Hyunwoo’s body changed the look in Changho’s eyes once again, this time to amusement. “So, you fucked him huh?” Changho snickered before bringing his hands to Hoseok’s jacket collar. Pushing him up against the now closed door. “I swear I don’t know what the fuck he sees in you. You have no idea what you’re meddling with, what you’re getting yourself into.” Changho spit out. “Hyunwoo is fucking mine, and that won’t change.”

“Don’t touch me” Hoseok spat out, putting his palms flat against the taller man’s body to push him off. His right hand turning into a fist as he struck Changho’s left cheek.

Changho turned his head with the blow, but rather than falling down in pain, he started laughing while he held his cheek. “He’s good isn’t he? Takes it so damn well like the little _bitch_ he is. I wonder if he thinks of you while I make him scream” Changho smirked. The blood in the corner of his lips not bothering him one bit.

Hoseok snapped. Rushing over to Changho for another blow. This time his fist hitting the opposite cheek. The taller falling to his knees. “Don’t you dare talk about him like that!” came out of his mouth as he grabbed Changho by his collared shirt.

Changho just kept on laughing. It was dark, sending a chill of creep down Hoseok’s spine. “What’s wrong?” Changho said, his lead leaning back, looking at the black haired boy in front of him. “Doesn’t he scream for you? Hyunwoo is a fucking slut. He loves it when I smack him around a lil’ bit, making him cry.” Changho kept smirking as he brought his hand up to dry the blood that had started running from his nose.

“Okay, play time is over.” Changho grunted out before he pushed Hoseok of off him. Standing back up before slamming Hoseok’s body against the hallway wall.

A loud grunt left Hoseok’s lips by the sheer power he hit the wall with. He didn’t even have time to react before Changho brought his hands up to his neck. “You’re gonna listen to me, and you’re gonna listen carefully” Changho growled out. “Hyunwoo is my fucking property. I own him. You can’t change that.”

Hoseok was no coward, not by any standard. He’d been in a good number of fights growing up defending himself for who he was, and for the people he just happened to like. Hoseok had every intention to fight back when he thought of Changho pushing him around. But fuck was he out of his depth. Hoseok might have muscles, but he doesn’t have the techniques and strategy of his blows like the way Changho did. He wasn’t trained for this. Laughing at himself for how easy it was for Changho to get a hold of his throat. No wonder Hyunwoo was so bruised all the time. Changho was seriously dangerous.

Hoseok tried to stay calm, but the longer the hands held at his throat, the harder it became. He tried so damn hard to get a hold of the other’s hands to push him off like he did earlier. But there’s a huge difference between having Changho’s hands on his jacket collar than on his actual collar area. The only thing keeping him sane at the moment, being the adrenaline rushing through his veins. But Changho was just strong. So fucking strong.

Hoseok could feel himself losing whatever fight he had left in him. Every second passing by losing him more and more oxygen. It was like someone tried to drag him down under water. Deeper and dee-

“Changho!”

And the hallway went dead quiet.

~

When Hyunwoo started to get back to his senses, he did his best to stand up, but the pain in his abdomen, his head, his throat, his arms that were still tied up made it a lot harder than it used to be. The thoughts and feelings in his brain going all over the place, almost forgetting why he was tied up in their guest bedroom to start with.

His face felt dry and stiff from the dried tears. And the face he made from trying to stand up, made it clear to him that something had dried up in lumps at the top of his hair. His hair hanging heavy by his forehead. The thumping in his head was loud, way too _loud._ It was all enough for him to want to claw at his own head, to just shut his eyes until this all went away.

But there was something that pierced through his heavy thoughts. Changho.

Hyunwoo could hear his shouts coming from outside the door, but shouting at _who?_

Hyunwoo’s eyes widened comically as it dawned on him. His memories coming back clearly. It was like reality had come to punch him right in the gut. The shouting coming from outside was motivating him to move, like some stupid spell had been cast on him. He grits his teeth together from the pain, using all his leg muscles to lift himself from the floor without the help of his hands. Everything looking quite awkward, but at least he was standing straight now.

He didn’t give himself much time to breathe before his feet was running towards the shut door. Turning himself around, using his tied-up arms to try to open the door. Minutes had passed before he managed to open it, trying his best to be slow and quiet. Looking into the hallway at the commotion happening.

_No no no!_ Changho’s hands were on Hoseok’s neck. Sweet and kind Hoseok who had become his rock was leaning on the wall struggling to breathe. Hyunwoo could see him struggling to breathe. The shorter ome’s hands trying to pry Changho’s hands of off him.

A small feeling of pride came to Hyunwoo when he saw that Hoseok had managed to get a few blows in as well. That he wasn’t completely caught off guard.

Hoseok’s eyes closed, his body losing its energy. And that’s when Hyunwoo snapped.

“Changho!”

Something inside of him snapped. The thread that Changho had used to wrap him around his little finger broke. Two pairs of eyes looked in his direction. Adrenaline rushed through Hyunwoo’s body as his feet started moving. His arms gathering up all the strength he could to get out of this god damn tie. The movement almost made him fall to the ground, stumbling down the hallway, but he caught himself with the help of the walls. He pushed himself of the wall, biting his teeth together as the pain in his body screamed at him.

Lunging forwards, he jumped on Changho back. His arms going around the other’s neck to get him the fuck of off Hoseok. He couldn’t let this happen. He would never forgive himself if Changho hurt Hoseok.

Changho stumbled for a couple of steps before he fell on his side, taking Hyunwoo with him. Hoseok’s shirt barely covering Hyunwoo’s otherwise naked body. Hoseok’s gulped in large breaths, trying to catch it. His right hand clutching his neck, while the left pushed against the wall behind him.

Changho yelped as he rolled them around, pinning Hyunwoo to the ground. The older was surprised, shocked to say the least. That his good submissive boy would jump on him like that.

“Don’t fucking touch me!!” Hyunwoo shouted.

Hyunwoo kept fighting. His whole body wiggling to get out of Changho’s firm hold. Screaming at the top of his lungs he managed to free on of his hands, only to hit Changho straight in the face. Changho’s nose running with blood. Hyunwoo used Changho’s shock to his advantage by rolling over, now on top. Punches kept coming at the older man. Left and right while Hyunwoo screamed. Tears streaming down his face as he felt his body’s exhaustion, both physically and mentally. The hysterical cries leaving his lips without a single thought going through his mind. Changho’s head falling to whatever direction Hyunwoo’s hits forced him too.

Another cry left Hyunwoo’s body as his hits came to a stop. His hands falling onto Changho’s chest.

“Hyun.. Hyunwoo baby, stop.” Changho breathed out. Clearly disoriented. “We can, let’s talk… we can.. we can fix…” he continued. Holding Hyunwoo’s shirt in a loose grip.

“STOP! Shut up!” Hyunwoo said as another cry left his body. A weak hit coming into contact with Changho’s chest. It wasn’t powerful, but in Changho’s current state it still made an impact.

Hyunwoo could do this.

He could fucking end it all.

All this fucking pain could be gone.

“Hyunwoo stop..!”

_Oh._

The familiar voice breaking through the tense room. The deep, yet soft voice, coming through to him. Surrounding Hyunwoo in a new-found comfort.

Hyunwoo blinked a couple of times, rubbing at his tear-streaked face. His eyes going to the man underneath him, his heavy breathing, almost shut eyes. Then he moved his eyes to Hoseok, calm reassuring eyes looking at him.

Hoseok moved closer to Hyunwoo, his hand landing on Hyunwoo’s left shoulder. “It’s okay. Let’s get out of here.”

Hyunwoo gave a weak nod as Hoseok helped him up. His arms and legs shaking from realising what he just did, what he just thought of doing. But the firm hand at the bottom of his back carefully lead him towards the door, keeping his mind at bay. Firm arms wrapped around his body, whispering into his ears while he cried his eyes out once more. None of them thinking about dressing Hyunwoo. It was all about getting out of here.

_It’ll be okay._

~

When Hoseok opened the door that would lead them out of Changho’s house, he was met with red and blue lights. The sun could be seen at the top of the sky, fighting for attention from the blinking police lights. The three friends he left earlier that day standing by one of the police cars. Their eyes filled with sorrow while looking at their almost naked Hyung. Hoseok tried to keep his surprise at bay. Removing his winter jacket for Hyunwoo to cover up his lower body. Putting it around his waist like a skirt to cover him from the prying eyes. Almost tearing up from the emotions running inside him. The police were here. They had believed them.

Hoseok could feel Hyunwoo moving back inside from the amount of people on the outside. His body shaking as he shook his head. Mumbles of _no, no, no_ leaving his lips. But Hoseok held him firmly by his hands. His eyes finding the other’s. “look at me Hyunwoo.” His voice firm but calm. “It’s okay. I’m here. Every step of the way, okay?”

And Hyunwoo nodded.

~

Hyunwoo was sitting in the trunk of one of the police cars while the officers looked through the apartment. They had given him a dark grey blanket to cover himself with. The thin shirt and Hoseok’s jacket, not doing much to keep the winter cold out. Finally making it obvious to Hyunwoo that he was pretty much naked. The realisation making his body flush a light pink.

Hoseok was looking at him from a distance, talking to Kihyun’s boyfriend Changkyun and his partner Jooheon. He explained what he could to them, his eyes never leaving Hyunwoo’s body.

“Okay, thank you. You can go over to him” Jooheon said with a small smile on his face. His head nodding in the direction of Hyunwoo, but Hoseok was already on the way.

His steps felt lighter than they had been since he first saw Changho. A small smile graced his lips when Hyunwoo met his eyes. The taller slightly lifting his right hand for a small wave.

Hoseok sat down on Hyunwoo’s left side, leaning his body against the open trunk of the police car. Quickly feeling a head leaning against his shoulder.

“The first snow” Hyunwoo said contently. His eyes looking at the sky where the snow had started to fall from. The sky getting whiter, the clouds covering up the sun. You could start to see the grey asphalt disappear from the snow falling down. Their breaths coming out in smoke as they spoke. Hoseok hummed in reply before it went quiet between them. Their eyes looking at their friends further away. The different police officers running in and out of the apartment. Kihyun and Changkyun smiling at each other.

It all felt quite unreal. Even more so as Hoseok planted a soft kiss on his forehead.

“We’ll be okay right?” Hyunwoo said.

“We will.” Hoseok said with such confidence, Hyunwoo couldn’t do much more than agree at that moment. Their hands tangling together. “Yes, we will.”

That was the last Hyunwoo heard before he passed out. Not feeling his body being lifted into an ambulance.


End file.
